Biggielicious - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I like to think of myself as a person who looks at the positive things in any situation. Like if you wake up the morning after a long night of partying, in a laundromat, missing your pants and covered in vomit. Most people would see this as a bad situation. Not me. I look at the bright side of things. First off, my ass doesn't hurt. Secondly, judging from the Chunky Soup in the puke, it is my own. So if nothing else, after some brilliant deductions on my part, I wasn't anally violated by a maurading band of puking monkeys. Not that that ever happened to me. It is just an example. I swear. I enjoy drinking and then making bad decisions. Hmmm, what else. I like the color blue and my dog Loki. Vegetarians annoy me. I have the chiseled jawline and good looks of a male model along with the strength of ten men, I just choose to hide them because I believe that my powers should only be used for the betterment of mankind. I like almost any kind of sporting activity. NASCAR isn't a sport. I get into a car every day and drive to work. The only difference between me and a NASCAR driver is that if I make four left turns and piss my pants I'm not considered an athlete with great endurance, I'm just considered an asshole with wet pants who is back in front of his apartment.It's probably obvious from my description, but I have the wit and raw sex appeal to make teenage girls weak in the knees. Which is good, because I completely need a prom date for this year. 14 years straight and still going strong baby!I'm pretty sociable when I get to know people. In fact, there was this one time an African kid won the lottery in his country and the jackpot was a day of hanging out with me. I was going to take him to a really nice restaurant, but then I remembered that it only takes 32 cents a day to feed someone from Africa, so I got him some bird feed instead. He mumbled something that sounded a lot like "asshole", but I'm sure it was an awesome compliment in his language. That kid loves me.Anyhow, I just moved to Atlanta, so if you come across my profile and I seem interesting, which I know you will, go ahead and friend me.Oh yeah...this is how I spend pretty much every Saturday night. Sexy times bitches! ..
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My Interests

Phone sex, midget tossing, making babies and smoking crack. ALL NIGHT LONG BABY! Naked cottage cheese wrestling. Sometimes all at once. Oh yeah, girls with baseball caps and their hair pulled through the hole in the back. That's hot.

I'd like to meet:

I guess other people in the area since I'm new here and I only know like 4 people....and they're couples so they only count as 2. People who don't need to read the label on a cup of coffee to understand that it's hot. Someone I can talk to for more than 30 seconds without them making me want to punch myself in the face. People who like drinking. A lot. People who aren't lame, because lame people suck donkey balls. Other dog people since I'm part of the K9 Mafia now. People who know how to have a good time and don't take themselves too seriously. Dudes who pop their collar multiple times. That look is about as sweet as a bag full of dicks.

IP Relay Operator 7624

Oh yeah, and some guys like this to hang with:

And my boy King C

Music:

This shit right here is pretty good:

Movies:

Superhero movies. Snuff flicks. Cinemax after 1 AM. The Notebook.

Television:

Jerry Springer. The Spanish Channel. Soft-Core B movies.

Books:

Man, you know I can't read. Although I do like picture books. If the pictures are of ladies. Not wearing clothes. Posed with farm animals. Yeah, those books are hot.

Heroes:

My dad, who is pretty much the greatest man ever. My mom, who was lucky enough to meet my dad. My older brother Joel, who was nice enough to leave some good looks and charm behind for me. My little sister Melissa who is a great mother to a super-awesome kick-ass bucket-headed son.

My Blog

Vote or Die

Everyone knows that I don't give a shit about politics, but I never want this video to end. Fuck this election, and fuck people that vote srtictly on race. You can all lick my big German balls. Lat...
Posted by Biggielicious on Fri, 17 Oct 2008 05:36:00 PST

Seriously, dont be this guy.

So, I go to the gym quite a bit. Between sets, while I'm desperately trying to be left the fuck alone, I glance around and check people out. And then ridicule them. Because I'm ...
Posted by Biggielicious on Sat, 01 Dec 2007 07:59:00 PST