Gary saw what you did!

They tell me I was born in Hollister, but, I really can't remember. I know I started out as a child. When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me..... Until I was 13 I thought my name was shutup.........My father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic......My father started to hit me one day; he stopped and said “you should never hit your children in anger” so I said, "when is a good time; when you’re feeling festive?"….so he hit me anyway..... ...When I was a teenager I used to lie awake at night and ask, “Where have I gone wrong” Then a voice would say to me, “This is gonna take more than one night”..... When I got old enough to go to the psychiatrist, I told him that everyone hated me. He said, “don’t be ridiculous, everyone hasn’t met you yet.” ..... I was visiting a friend in Salinas and we went to the library. I asked the librarian if I could get a library card, she said I had to prove I was from Salinas, so I stabbed her.........I believe that making love is a beautiful thing between two people; between five people it’s fantastic! .....Condoms aren’t completely safe, one of my friends was wearing one and got hit by a truck..... It actually only takes one drink to get me drunk, I just can’t remember if it is the thirteenth or the fourteenth..... When I got a little older I found that Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.... The key to happiness is a bad memory..... I wish I could tell you my age, but it keeps changing every day......First you forget names, then you forget faces, next you forget to pull your zipper up, and finally, you forget to pull it down..... I used to cause happiness wherever I showed up……now I cause happiness whenever I leave. I really hate doing nothing……you never know when you’re finished. Well, if you liked this profile, send me a message, if not.......go scratch yourself.