Watch this video. This is my life.
I think too much. I think about thinking too much, too much.
It's incredibly hard to describe your entire personality in one measly paragraph. But, I'll try nonetheless. My name is Josh Androsky. No, it's not Russian. No, it's not Androwsky. And no, I'm not related to Carole Androsky, who was in all those Bing Crosby movies. Although, I kind of wish I was. How cool would it be to have your grandma in a bunch of Bing Crosby movies? I'll tell you: Very.
But I digress... I believe in truth. I am honest to a fault. I find it incredibly difficult to hide how I feel about people. I tell my male friends that I love them, and they tell me that they love me in return. That's how comfortable we are with our masculinity. Yeah. We swim in the cascading lakes of our harmonious friendship. There's nothin gay about 7 dudes who sometimes cuddle. Fuck. I smoke a lot of weed, but I'm not a pothead. A pothead gets animals high. I go out to vintage stores and buy jackets that remind me of Harold and Maude. I think there's a delicate balance in the universe that is upheld by forces above and beyond any human comprehension. The Secret is bullshit. No matter how much you visualize that you want to be a millionaire with a house in the Hamptons and 4 hot wives, you're still going to be wiping floors at Food 4 Less. But that's how the universe works. There has to be Janitors. There's nothing wrong with being a janitor. That being said, I'm not a janitor. Yet. Who knows?
I'm the luckiest person I know. I'm obsessed with trying to figure out why. I know some people create their own luck, by being well-educated, good at reading people, and by having the ability to manipulate situations, but there's an unseen force that still, inevitably, makes the final decision.
I ask a lot of questions. Too many questions. But that's a good thing. Plato asked a lot of questions, and he was one of the most influential philosophers in the history of the world. Plato also fucked pre-teen boys. I'd love to be a philosopher, but I don't think I'm quite ready for that part. Plato said, (and I'm paraphrasing) "True philosophers can remove themselves from a given situation and look down on themselves objectively, from the third person." I do that shit all the time. It helps me gain perspective. I'd recommend it.
A lot of people complain. A lot of people wonder when they'll finally be able to be happy. "If I get this promotion, I'll be happy!" "If this pretty girl likes me, I'll finally be happy!" "If I give birth to a boy, I'll finally be happy!" I think Thornton Wilder said it best (and again I'm paraphrasing), "There is no road to Happiness. There is just Happiness." I live my life by that statement.
I'm a writer, but I don't want to write anything about politics, because H.L. Mencken already wrote something so much better than I ever could. In 1920. 19fucking20.
" The larger the mob, the harder the test. In small areas, before small electorates, a first-rate man occasionally fights his way through, carrying even the mob with him by force of his personality. But when the field is nationwide, and the fight must be waged chiefly at second and third hand, and the force of personality cannot so readily make itself felt, then all the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre — the man who can most easily adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum.
The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
H.L. Mencken. What a fucking guy.
Just one more quote:
"Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money."
-George Carlin
Hey, stop bitching about how the world hates America. Elect an intelligent, reasoned president who will push us beyond this red state, blue state bullshit. We can change America back into the prosperous country we all grew up in.
