Starting again! What was I looking for when I set this up, Friends, that special someone, my soul mate? I can't speak for everyone, but for me, aside from the curious, I wanted to see who I would find, what kind of attention I would get, what kind of people would be interested in what I had to say or what I looked like. Truth! So I sat at this computer and wracked my brain, like we all do, trying to find the best one lines, the most heartfelt thoughts I could come up with and roll my word into one big wonderful, beautiful presentation that would spark the reader and make them want to see more, isn't it what it's all about? advertising?
But something happened to me along the way, between the messages and the comments and the buying the pets and all the stickers and hugs...
I Found Me again!!!
Through these past couple of years and especially these last couple of months, I have been slowly heading down the wrong path. Oh! don't get me wrong! I have good morals and values, and I do love myself, most of the time, when I am not beating myself up over my poor choices and my stupidity. I feel good about what I want and what I stand for, but there was just this slow sinking element, the harder I tried, the deeper I got, like quicksand and the struggle. Until it took me to my knees, and I wept, okay! I bawled, and bawled. Where was I going? What did I really want? I know what I say, and what I have said I wanted, and I believe that it is true, but something I couldn't quite put my finger on was nagging at me, things were not adding up and working out the way I wanted them to..After allot of soul searching and allot of denial, and way too much pride, I finally messaged a friend, an unknown myspace friend that answered my cry for help. and she prayed for me...It was at that time that I knew, because I was there years ago and lost my way. That gentle loving whisper that God speaks to you in, saying he loves me and come home...So I came home and rededicated my life to him...He never said that it would be easy, and I have had some great sadness come my way. But for the first time in a long time. I give my pain and loss and confusion to God. And I know that he is there for me, and his network of wonderful christian, family members have been so supportive and I feel there prayers around me...I am home...
So about me!!! Everything that I see, taste, touch and feel, is still me, but with my faith in God. I still believe, that Love is life, even more so, and that a smile still lights things up all around you. And more importantly I believe in me more than ever...Thank you Lord for allowing me to start brand new, and keeping my heart and spirit safe along the way...God Bless
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