XEricaXEllusionX profile picture

XEricaXEllusionX

...Its Just An Illusion Of The Chaotic Soul...

About Me

I shouldn't have to say my name because if your on my, my space you probably know it by now. I am 5'7 and have long black hair. Im always on the go...My veiw is that there is enough time to sleep when your in your coffin. I've always had a love for the arts...I like to act, sing, and write. Heres a little taste of my poison...--------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------------------------------------So lost, so confused, So dazed, but not amused. Im addicted to your love, conflicted over you pain, convicted in your soul, I cant describe it...the feelings insane. But with you being gone now, its never going to be the same. We had two differnt imaginations of what we had wanted and what we had wished, But the feeling was mutual everytime we kissed. The best match, but there was a catch, we werent for long, if it only would have last. It was incredible, inevitable, together we were the pisces and the virgo. No one would have ever guessed. We impressed, we were unbelief, the very best. My heart yearns and craves for whats no longer there, to crawl back again...would I dare? But I will be honest, and this is a promise... That the hardest thing I ever had to do, was break my heart, and walk away from you. ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------------------------------------I'v e become so lost, So alone, I feel completely invisible, Almost Unknown, Days go by, But the cronic feeling won't go away, The pain of dieing inside...--------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------------------------Im going insane, Its my own mental game, In fear of my own name, No longer feeling any pain, Knowing that nothing has changed, And that everything remains the same. Still feeling lost, Its become no surprise, And I never stopped getting hypnotized, When I look into her eyes. The drowning pool has become overflowing with my own bleeding cries, And I never stopped forgetting about wanting to put myself to my own demise. But even with all these feelings cutting through my insides, I still lie there waiting, never once debating, As my precious words I once said, remain stating. Always wondering if she can still hear me when I sing, And when I call out for her... Can she feel the beats of the ring, And hoping that she knows, that she remains in my dreams. Like many times I felt before, That dark little girl is the one I adore, Someone who I could never ignore, And yet the only person who I hope for...------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------My New Addition---------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ - She was that beautiful, chaotic mess, The first to light a fire in my eyes, She did nothing but impress... And the only one who I let take my heart, and willingly let rip it out of my chest... Because she was the one, the only one...the very best. I can still remember the butterflies that flew in my stomach on the first night we kissed, It was completely incredible, nothing but an extreme sensation of bliss, Something that will forever and for always be missed. When I came to find that I could never really have her, I waited up for days and nights, from dusk till dawn... Waiting to see if the love would ever be gone, And seeing if I would ever have the power to finally move on. I did move on, but never found another right one, She had done it, That little girl full of chaos was the only one on my mind, she really had won... Till this very day, I can still and always say, That true love... Never really goes away... .. Layout Provided By LayoutsPlus.com - Browse Layouts
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My Interests

I have always had a love for the arts...so I always fall in love with the insane people that give me inspiration. I like to act, sing, and write poetry. I believe that those three things are the best way to express yourself...


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I'd like to meet:

Someone who doesn't stab me in the back, and who is respectful and loyal to me no matter what the case may be. I would like to me someone who is educated and has respect for themselves, and someone who can blow me away...and take my life back to better days...

Music:

I think having a wide variety of music makes you a wiser person. I listen to heavy metal, and electronic music. If you ever met me, you already know that part of my mind is in the 60's. I listen to music like Jefferson Airplane and Jimi Hendrix. And there will always be the country side of me too...I was raised on it...what else can I say?-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------------------------------I hurt myself today, To see if I still feel, I focus on the pain The only thing that's real. ~Nine Inch Nails


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Movies:

You got to love those Angelina Jolie movies. My favorites are Girl Interrupted and Gia. In my mind those movies are classics!----------------------------------- Quotes From her Movies------------------------------------------------------ ------- "Life and death. Energy and peace. If I stopped today, it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I have made, and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul. It was worth it for having been allowed to walk where I've walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, though it, in it and above..." ------------------------------------------------------------ ----------- "I have to go! I have to go! Everybody has to go! Where the Fuck does everybody go when they have to go, huh?"---------------------------------------- "A book is like a box, a box has six sides, inside and outside, but how do you get to whats inside? How do you get to whats inside out?"------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------- -Gia-------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- "There is just too many buttons in the world just begging to be pressed, just begging to be pressed, and it makes me wonder, you know; it makes me fucking wonder, why doesn't any one press mine, why am I so neglected, why doesn't any one reach in and rip out the truth and tell me, that I am a fucking whore or that my parents wished that I were dead!!!" ------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------------------------------------- "Tell me that you don't take that blade and drag it across your skin AND PRAY for the courage to press down." -Girl Interrupted

Books:

Edgar Allen Poe is one of my favorite writers...His minds twisted, just like mine!------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- All the despise, and all the bleeding cries, As the hate burns around me, I slowly close my eyes. Trying to fight whats not there... For its more than my heart can bare. Not really knowing if you did care. Im trapped in my own black hole, Im lost in a trance, without a sole. It was your own pretty, hated heart... That I condoled. Spinning in circles in my own delirium, and trying to climb out. Im stuck in a maze, not knowing which way to go about. All I can feel is your poison, Seeping through my skin, Because you took everything from me, everything within. But I freely let you do it, Its my own damned sin. Broken, burned, everything is nothing, and that nothing is twist- turned. Knowing that your perfect, your fine, Because I kept you in my heart, and your always on my mind. So when is it going to be my time... To rewind, To stay with you forever, and for always, To let yourself be mine.By: Erica 4/5/06

Heroes:

Angelina Jolie is my biggest hero. No one has ever given my inspiration like her before to act.