Ron Swanson profile picture

Ron Swanson

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me



Time Magazine calls me "The Ugliest Man Alive." And women say I'm "unattractive at best."I'm opinionated, pessimistic and my glass is half empty. I'm a cynic. I'm a dork, a geek, a nerd. Women hate me, men find me funny when their girlfriends aren't looking. I listen to Tom Waits and feels he's a genius. I wear shorts year round. I shave my armpits and wear my socks inside out. I like comic books and video games and think Star Wars is the coolest thing ever created. I like gummi worms and love to eat them while I go fishing and listen to Queens of the Stone Age while I do so. I am really smart but you can't tell from my Green Latern shirt, messy hair and odd beard. I don't drink. I don't smoke and I hate drugs.And you know what....You'll never find another like me.Wanna book me, sign me or make love to me?Send me an email.

My Blog

Psychos, sluts, Rock Band and other randomness...

Hey guys, time for more random thoughts from a random guy....First off--let me get this out of the way--because I don't want to give them too much attention because they don't deserve it.  No I a...
Posted by on Sat, 25 Oct 2008 23:48:00 GMT

4 more days...

My time as a vegan grows short.  I can't believe I have made it 26 days not eating meat or any animal bi-product.  And you know what...I've loved every second of it.  I love a challenge...
Posted by on Sat, 27 Sep 2008 00:24:00 GMT

Vegan Update...

It's September 10th and I have been a vegan, officially, for ten days.  I think it's time for an update...The first few days, by far, were the hardest.  Any other day of the year, if I wante...
Posted by on Wed, 10 Sep 2008 23:33:00 GMT

30 days...

My time as a meat and dairy eater grows short.  Starting the 1st of September, I will be a vegan for 30 days.  Why, you ask?  Because I am a huge fan of Morgan Spurlock and love his sho...
Posted by on Sat, 30 Aug 2008 05:55:00 GMT

Murdered in Round 1...On to Round 2

Tonight was the first round of 93ZOK's Last Comic Standing in Rockford, IL and I murdered.  The house went crazy for me and I qualified for the next round which is on Thursday.  I need this ...
Posted by on Tue, 22 Jul 2008 19:56:00 GMT

Warning!!!! The Dark Knight Spoilers may be contained in the following blog.

So, you all know I am a huge nerd.  So being one, I went and saw The Dark Knight.  Being an even BIGGER nerd, I am blogging about it the moment I returned home after seeing it.First off, Hea...
Posted by on Sun, 20 Jul 2008 16:42:00 GMT

Watchmen...the movie.

I cannot wait for this fracking movie!!!  How did Billy Crudup get the role of Dr. Manhattan?  Oh well, who cares, I bet he rocks the shit out of it.
Posted by on Sat, 19 Jul 2008 20:19:00 GMT

Can the universe really give you what you want?

Have you ever read The Secret?  If you haven't, don't.  It is the biggest pile that has ever been committed to paper.  Basically, the book claims that if you believe, truly believe that...
Posted by on Sat, 19 Jul 2008 07:08:00 GMT

What if this was as good as it gets?

Another day, another dollar--no wait.  No dollar, another rejection from a woman.  That's right, it never ends with me.  But then if it did...where the frack would my material come from...
Posted by on Fri, 18 Jul 2008 22:42:00 GMT

Fun at the fair.

So I had to work the Jefferson County Fair last week and it is a blast.  I mean that with sarcasm.  I don't think sarcasm travels well over blog, but I am being sarcastic.  My time in h...
Posted by on Mon, 14 Jul 2008 15:35:00 GMT