shelley

Let's get random: I'm married to the most awesome, gorgeous geek (yes, trust me one can be both) on the planet. I am the proud mother of two jackass dogs (both adopted from the shelter-NEVER EVER buy, you dopes! Ever heard of puppy mills?) who keep me entertained and flea-ridden. I still love 'em, though. I consider shopping to be both therapeutic and necessary, however, am concerned that consumerism may be destroying the world. Yes, I enjoy being a walking contradiction, thank you. I cannot stand to be tickled and I will kick you in the balls if you so much as think about it. I bet my family is more dysfunctional than yours. Nah,nah. I have a vinyl costume and high heel collection that would make your mother blush. I think Ann Coulter may be the devil in the flesh. The devil is technically male, right? Spelling is my best skill. John may disagree with that one :). I am unable to trust people who are "not into music." WTF??? This makes me question whether you even have a soul. And then I cry big tears for you. I have a massive fear of public speaking and find myself becoming jealous of the suckasses who get up and do karaoke. Sad, but true. People tend to think I'm stuck up or a bitch (?) upon first impression, but I'm really just a little shy and it takes time for me to open up... Or maybe I'm just silently judging you. Will you ever know?... Geez, I'm just kidding! I live for flip flops and slush puppies. I also have a purse and shoe addiction that I have to keep in check or I'll be homeless wearing a sign that says "Will wear vinyl for food." I am currently on a mission to find my signature scent and have a shelf full of expensive perfumes that have failed to define me. HA I get bored easily and try to procrastinate as much as possible. My potty mouth will make your children, and possibly your pets, cry. I'm a shitty Myspacer and you should consider yourself lucky if I leave you a comment. The End for now. Like I have time for this shit?