I'm a turd bag. All I do is eat all day and I go to concerts at night but I only go to pick up on fine ladies that are way out of my league, but I found Pam who is the most loving and beautiful girl in the world. But unfortunately she left my ass because I have herpes It almost nearly killed me but I stalked her everyday, but she still wanted nothing to do with my sexually transmitted behind.
I listen to bands that I know nothing about just so I get extra cool points with those aforementioned fine ladies.
I'm looking for a special lady (preferably a knob-gobbler) that will fill my pie-hole with candies and sweets all day until she's ready to climb ontop of my Jabba-the-hut body and be my princess leah.
I go to college everyday (aka nerd camp) to get a job that makes big benjamins but no amount of money could cure my acne-infested, chicklet toothed grill.
