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I am here for Dating and Friends

About Me

I am a washed-up crimefighting supermodel, much like Janice Dickinson,except I'm not batshit crazy, and I have a penis.In my spare time I crochet footies and mittens for land-mine orphan-babies. Someone must continue the work that HRH Diana, Princess of Wales was doing before the fatal smash-up. I'm sorry, but expecting Camilla Parker-Bowles to do it is like expecting Paula Abdul to order a pizza without breaking into uncontrollable sobs.My arch-nemesis is Kate Moss but I think I have a leg up on her as I now weigh considerably more than her and can easily crush her under the weight of one of my thighs.
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net Hal Moncrief --
[adjective]:
Sexually stunning
'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.comHere's some fresh sacrilege for you all (Avert Thine Eyes, Ye of Entrenched Christian Faith!):"Now that he’s dead, Jesus can spy on you all he wants while you are unaware. It is not a sin to be a peeping tom when you are a ghost, so he does not think twice about it. However, there are some people (like me) who know all about his little game and are scared to go to the bathroom because of it."--Carlton Mellick III, "Fist World"

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Orlando Bloom. Idina Menzel. Tom Waits. Lisa Lampanelli. Tori. Prince William. Ian Somerhalder. Adam Rickett. Allison Janney. Mitchell Hurwitz. Buffy. Alyson Hannigan. Helen Mirren. Tilda Swinton. Amanda Palmer and Brian (yum yum) Viglione. I would like to marry Adam Brody someday.The CricketSoda Myspace Editor ..Why won't you love me, you beautiful, goofy dork?!?!

My Blog

The Reaganomics of Pop Culture

Spider Man. Bono. Julie Taymor. What do these three people have in common? Manatees. Well, not literally. I blame Family Guy, a show I watch sporadically and am even more sporadically entertained by....
Posted by on Sun, 19 Oct 2008 20:53:00 GMT

*Sigh* *Ouch* *Love* *Bleed*

Elephants        by Rachael Yamagataif the elephants have past lives yet are destined to always rememberits no wonder how they scream. like you and i they ...
Posted by on Fri, 10 Oct 2008 10:22:00 GMT

OMG, you guys! The Borg is for reals!

It may interest you to note that I finally, after extensive research, managed to define the difference between "emo kids" and "hipsters", because I know that you have been lying awake nights pond...
Posted by on Fri, 22 Aug 2008 06:41:00 GMT

I Was Tagged by Cheustin Divinitatious!

So apparently because Gashley and Oddstin soiled the hem of my metaphysical Myspace Garment with their grubby Urchin fingers, I have to tell ten secret facts about myself or die of consumption. Someth...
Posted by on Mon, 17 Dec 2007 18:17:00 GMT

in Which I Work Through Some Shit by Sharing Lyrics

This is by Kate Nash."The Nicest Thing"All I know is that you're so niceYou're the nicest thing I've seenI wish that we could give it a goSee if we could be somethingI wish I was your favourite girlI ...
Posted by on Wed, 12 Dec 2007 00:39:00 GMT

Nobel Prizewinning Jerkface Strikes Again!

So this is what started it... Ben Greenman's blog on AOL today. " Nobel Prize Winner Makes Racist Remarks -- Again Posted Oct 18th 2007 3:44PM by Ben GreenmanFiled under: Science, Controversy A spe...
Posted by on Thu, 18 Oct 2007 16:01:00 GMT

Pretty Colors!

So this is what my colorgenics color profile says about me, and I thin it's pretty effing accurate, actually. You are striving for a life full of activity and experience and, perhaps even more, an env...
Posted by on Mon, 27 Aug 2007 01:56:00 GMT

In which I have an obligation

Leave your name in my blog comments. Once you do that, this is what I'll do for you...1. I'll respond with something random about you.2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.3. I'll pick a ...
Posted by on Wed, 23 May 2007 15:33:00 GMT

R.I.P. Sanjaya Malakar

Goodbye, Sanjaya, nonthreatening Tiger Beat Twink par excellence, with a chicken khourma twist. I didn't watch your show, but I will so miss everyone talking about you all the time. And I will never f...
Posted by on Wed, 18 Apr 2007 20:48:00 GMT

Harry Potter and the Low-Rise Jeans of Jailbait-dom!

Okay... So there I was, minding my own business, when a friend of mine sent me these pictures, which are publicity photos for the new West End production of Peter Schaffer's "Equus", directed by my fa...
Posted by on Tue, 30 Jan 2007 23:34:00 GMT