About Me
Ok, so I'm Melissa. At the moment my life is pretty routined. I wake up, go to school, come home, listen to music, do what Mom tells me to do, computer. It's seriously no life, but it's mine. On the weekends I usually hang with Tay, Niki or Kian. I don't care if they are like 2 yrs younger than me, I'd rather get along with them. I wish my brother was still here so i could chill with him, he's maddog.
My mates, they mean everything to me. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't have got this far. Sure I've changed friends throughout the years I have managed to find who my real ones are. I know i bottle heaps of shit in but there is at least on them I will tell. Alot of my other 'friends' are backstabbing bitches, sure you're fun and all but I can't trust you. Usually what is said between people stay between them, but for some that doesn't apply. They have the need to open their mouths and tell someone. No matter what it is they told them big or small, the point is, they still told them.
I need to be reassured all the time. It just makes me feel safe. It's not for attention. It's just who I am. The more you bag me, the less i care. I don't care if you think i'm fat, ugly, stupid or whatever. I have doubts in myself without you telling me. At times I can be vain or superficial. When my straightener broke i cried, I stopped liking someone because I didn't like their feet etc. Other times I can be rather hard on myself. It's like a rollercoaster, I guess.
Only a few people know my life and the happenings. I don't like telling people. Mainly because it's hard for me to tell, always will be. I never got use to it and didn't want to accept it. I know you're probably thinking; the past is the past and I should probably get over it. But It isn't that easy. I feel this year it has caught up with me more than ever.
Sure, I've done things i wish I hadn't, But haven't we all. It's apart of growing up and learning from our mistakes and consequences. I truly think I've done them for a reason. I only tell the reason to people that matter. So judge all you want. At times, after i do something or say something I feel like an idiot and that's pretty much all the time.
My Mom works every weekday night. I love the time alone, but i do get lonely and bored. If I didn't have Kiki I would have probably gone insane. I tell her I love her everyday. I know she is just a puppy. But she is tiny, cute, funny and brightens up my day.
I have no motivation. It's probably a bad thing, but oh well. I pretty much have three moods; happy, neutral and sad. I'm happy when I'm with my friends, doing my own thing, cruisin' with Andy and just being me. I'm neutral when I'm at school, doing chores, home alone and reading the paper. I'm sad when I cant get something or figure it out, I'm targeted, I think and when I'm helpless.
I laugh at my own jokes, yes I do think I am funny, but nothing overboard. I most likely get irritating though. I don't get annoyed to quickly, only if it's a constant thing that is bugging me or really pushing me. Then I do become neutral and escape the situation. I probably shouldn't run away.
I just want someone. I'm not desperate enough to lower my standards. That wouldn't make me happy. I just want the safety and comfort of knowing that i have someone who feels the same way not because he will be an 'accessory'. I can wait for the right guy but right now that seems a long time from now. I have a few people who I think about rather a lot, but whether they think about me is a different story.
People should be upfront about their thoughts and shit. I can't stand people who act all sneaky about a situation or what they want to say. If you think it, you should say it and to that person. I know people who do that to me, and honestly if they have a question about my life or whatevzz they should just say it. Not to everyone else. That really grinds my gears.
This is probably too long. But it's my about me so I shall write what I want. Just because you read it doesn't mean anything really, you still don't know me. But a big TY anyway =D
