batman owns a pair of djfacemachine pajamas.
djfacemachine can whistle with crackers in her mouth.
even jesus wishes he could see djfacemachine in the shower.
djfacemachine does not have periods. other women have them for her.
djfacemachine is the "it" in gatorade.
djfacemachine has a lifesized map of the united states. it's a bitch to fold.
the speed of dark is djfacemachine.
the big bad wolf is afraid of djfacemachine.
djfacemachine deletes your email without reading it.
children's letters to god get delivered to djfacemachine.
djfacemachine has perfect credit.
djfacemachine can beat you in a drinking contest.
djfacemachine can tell the difference between pepsi and coke.
djfacemachine doesn't have to talk in third person but she does anyway.
djfacemachine's mom can beat up your dad.
djfacemachine tastes great and is less filling.
in djfacemachine, orgasm has you.
when djfacemachine cooks spaghetti the noodles never stick together.
djfacemachine rips her own face off in the finale.
onions cry when djfacemachine cuts them.
djfacemachine's gum never runs out of flavor.
djfacemachine would love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.
..
