THE Reverend Thunder Wallace

About Me

After dedicating my life to quasi-philosophy in search of hot dumb women, I have found that women who fall for my inferior brand of faux-philosophy make my soul hurt with their stupidity. Furthermore, the hottest women on the planet quickly become buckled when they believe that Immanuelle Kant does 32 (33 equals horrible death, 31 equals inverted butt cheeks for all) push-ups a day with me to keep the universe balanced. Because of this, I am no longer dedicating my life to quasi-philosophy. I am now dedicating my life to high intensity lasers that will somehow make moronic hot women smart, therefore making them attractive to me. So far, I have come up with a lense for a maglight that does nothing......

My Interests

Playing with lenses made from wax paper while wearing a wardrobe consisting of only Urban Outfitters waiting with bated breath for the next gawd awful (insert corporate indie rock band name) album to lull me into the mystical Nirvana of hipster retards.

I'd like to meet:

Hot women who are willing to let me shine flashlights on them in an attempt to create the worlds first smart-ray.

Music:

I LOVE THE KEY OF F.....everything goes flat in F....such a wonderful key.

Movies:

I like most movies that piss off artsy people because I have found that those people are usually not really artsy, but are just full of themselves and therefore colossal douches. However, being a self proclaimed artsy douche (con hypocrisy) myself, I find that I like most movies. Except for Mansquito, seriously, that was filth.

Television:

Pretty much everything except MTV. That channel brings out serious violent tendancies in me. I can't wait to be on MTV.

Books:

I have given up on Infinite Jest due to its infiniteness. Therefore, I don't know.

Heroes:

Those who admit their faults.

My Blog

Moderate Republicans Need to Take Back the Party

I am currently a registered independent in the state of California with a track record of voting for Republicans. However, the current president and former congress that occupied the house and s...
Posted by THE Reverend Thunder Wallace on Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:35:00 PST

Metrosexual out, Menergy in...

While waiting in the lobby of Advantage Ford watching Good Day LA (if you are not from LA, it's the show where during weather reports they show the entire west coast so the weather hooker has to bend ...
Posted by THE Reverend Thunder Wallace on Mon, 08 Oct 2007 09:11:00 PST

Seahawks

Wow, that was a good one Matt and Shaun.
Posted by THE Reverend Thunder Wallace on Mon, 17 Sep 2007 09:26:00 PST

Big Jolly Thrifty Ginger

Well, I am in Seattle, and I rented a car. After picking up my bag, I headed over to the Thrifty counter to pick up the Dodge Caliber that I had reserved. As I approached the counter, I no...
Posted by THE Reverend Thunder Wallace on Thu, 06 Sep 2007 02:21:00 PST

Sophie

The odd thing about vehicles, or at least when you have the disorder I have of falling in love with inanimate objects is that you fall in love, yet you still trade them in for a newer one. For those ...
Posted by THE Reverend Thunder Wallace on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 06:42:00 PST

I am done with the NBA

I hope the Sonics leave Seattle, it will give me freedom from the oppression that has become the league that I once loved. No competition, just dirty efficiency that is the San Antonio Spurs has beco...
Posted by THE Reverend Thunder Wallace on Sat, 19 May 2007 12:31:00 PST

Red Bull Soapbox

I think that I want to enter, but am afraid that I will die. I have a history of gravity and tearing ligaments. Anyone interested in possibly fielding a car? I give this a 2% chance of actually hap...
Posted by THE Reverend Thunder Wallace on Mon, 16 Apr 2007 09:38:00 PST

I Spun Today!

I worked out today for the first time in two weeks. It felt amazing. I mixed a new album for my class and sweated out two weeks of crap. I love spinning.
Posted by THE Reverend Thunder Wallace on Tue, 10 Apr 2007 10:26:00 PST

Bronchitis and Fat

I haven't been able to work out since last Monday due to my illness. I am losing my mind, I feel fat, I can't write music when I don't work out and I am coughing. Stupid illness...GO ANTIBIOTICS! A...
Posted by THE Reverend Thunder Wallace on Fri, 06 Apr 2007 09:23:00 PST

Cerebral II

You should go to my music page and read it.
Posted by THE Reverend Thunder Wallace on Mon, 12 Mar 2007 08:19:00 PST