I have a confession to make:
I love music.
...But I also hate it.
I know, I know...how does that work? Allow me to explain myself: I love what music does for us, but I hate what we have done for and in the name of music.
My name is Cassidee Moser. I am a breaking musician in the Chicago area, with one goal; to write the music that deeply moves people. I want to be the one who writes music that will stand as a testament to humanity. Basically, i want to create REAL music.
Conceited? No, enlightened.
Music has always been a part of me, but I never really realized that until i started my journey. Like most kids, i struggled through piano lessons at the age of ten, wanting so badly to go outside when i was locked up hammering out scales and simplistic pieces. That eventually died out, and i was restorted to singing at school functions and in church meetings (begrudgingly, i might add). I started teaching myself the drums at the age of 12. Back then, I was a fierce tomboy with a sincere desire to play the monstrous drum set we all see in rock concerts. I went on to be the only female drummer in Jazz Bands from seventh grade up through Junior year in high school, never really acknowledging music for what it was, but playing what i heard and liked.
Then, once upon the days of girl's summer camp, i met a girl who played the guitar and sang her own music. She really was the catalyst that sparked my interest in music as a creative approach, and i decided that i was going to play the guitar in freshman year. I suffered through the blisters and chord charts and eventually began strumming away simplistic tunes with superficial lyrics, matching anything and everything that rhymed into a congealed mess of pointless sound and empty tone, that, for some reason, people liked. It was when i turned seventeen years old that i really discovered what music meant to me. I remember going to concerts and thinking, "yeah, I would love to do that," but why?
Suddenly, I found myself immersed in deep thought and speculation over exactly what music was. I began to detest mainstream or popular music and started searching for the underground music that remained pure and untainted, the music that actually retained meaning. I remember the exact turning point in my life that really started it all: I was sitting in my room, alone, in the quiet, listening to one of my favorite artists, when something happened; when the chorus rolled around, I felt something while i heard it. I felt chills going up my spine, and my pulse increased a little as i realized exactly what was happening. For the first time in my life, I heard music for what it really is; an audible, real tangent of the human soul that connects us all.
Suddenly, I found myself in that mess of a self identity crisis we all go through at the awkward stage of adolescence. Mine happened to peak in my freshman year of college, when i began questioning exactly who i was and what i wanted to do. I knew what that was; I wanted to be a musician, an artist. And so, i came to the point where i realized i could call myself a musician. Before, it had always seemed kind of a cute idea, a little "congratulatory" identity that i could readily abandon once i took life seriously. But now, i can honestly stand before you and admit to you that i am an honest musician, but more than that, an artist.
And so, allow me to return to my previous thought; that i hate what we do for music. We tend to treat music as if it were something to take lightly, something to toss aside, something to sing along with or play in the stereo at night, an excuse for so-called artists to cram together pathetic lyrics and cheap melodies for money and popularity.
But we can't just take it so lightly as we do. I believe that music is the most real and deeply personal form of art that humans can create. Nothing is more moving, nothing is more passionate, and nothing is more inspirational than the honest and pure sounds of true, untainted music created naturally and derived from the soul, used to inspire, express, create, and change.
This may seem slf-aggrandizing, and believe me when i say that I do not claim to know everything. These are all just my ideas, my views. But what i say is what i believe, and i believe with everything in me that this is honest truth, and i believe the great quote that "great art is aesthetically arresting." I operate on this thought; that music should be felt, rather than heard.
So, the next time you listen to a song you consider great, consider this,
When was the last time music made you feel alive?
Thanks for sitting through this narritive, and thanks for your support.
-Cassidee Moser
to contact me, email me @
[email protected]
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