I am a sensitive person, maybe to a faulted degree. Things that don't seem to bother people today really kill me on the inside. The state of humanity is at its worst. You have more violence and negativity on the news than ever before and it just keeps getting worse....and closer to home. Heck, you cannot even go to any crowded place anymore without someone walking into you and then blaming you for the incident or someone riding on your bumper when you are already going 10 miles over the speed limit and there is a car in front of you obviously blocking the need for speed. Worse however is the person who is DELIBERATLY looking to hurt you. We all know how that feels and that is the worst for me, at least when you have done nothing to deserve said attack. I can only take so much before my inner time bomb detonates. That is when I go into hibernation and wait for the dreaded blast. I turn into this erupting volcano. All that negativity and raw emotion red hot, boiling and finally BAM! (Sorry Emeril, I know that ones yours!)
People don’t see people anymore. They see something that got in their way while they were walking, or something in their direct line of traffic, not SOMEONE but something. I try to see people for what they are, human. No one is perfect and yes, people will disappoint you from time to time. Have you ever accidentally walked into someone else, fully apologize, admit fault and still get anger from them? My logic tells me to treat people with respect to get it back. That is the irony of my life. Try to be nice and get bit in the process. I have my moments, believe me, which are not the shining examples of the woman I want to be. I too am human and will disappoint my share of the human population. It is inevitable. My hope is that when I am the one disappointing others in my life they forgive and love me the same way I forgive and love them.
You see, out of all the negativity and harshness of the world around me, I hold onto the optimism of youth. Splashing in puddles on a rainy day, the euphoric beauty of an autumn mountainside in its colored splendor, an old couple holding hands, a bottle of vino shared with a good friend, and a new mother lovingly gazing at her child. These things and so much more make my life worth living. Looking past the negative and choosing to know that I know who I am and what I stand for. Nothing anyone may say or do defines me. My speech and actions do. So say and do what you will big, bad world. You can hurt my sensitive feelings, shatter them into oblivion so they are unrecognizable and even foreign to anything I have experienced before but never in a million years will you even come close enough to even scar my beautifully optimistic and loving soul.
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