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My last name is not actually Lee. Like Cher, Madonna, Two Ton Charlie (TTC), and Chingy, I have no last name. But one cannot register for MySpace without providing a first and last name, so I used Lee, which I contracted from my good friend Hanson Jones Janeczekski, the first person born and raised in Poland to attend NYU, who makes reservations and places food orders under the last name "Lee."
Anyway, last year I wrote a book.
It was the weekend before the first week of my last semester at NYU. Upon waking up on Saturday morning, the consequences of a late night of drinking spinning in my head, I decided spontaneously to stay in my dorm room, which I shared with a horrifying roommate chosen randomly by the schools housing department, for seven days in order to compose a book about my bizarre college experiences and my quirky, self-deprecating, fun life.
Now my book, Hello, Friend, My Name Is Melvany, was published. The book is available at all Borders and through all online bookstores, or visit HelloMelvany.com
Imagine if you were a bit loony and quite goofy, in an amusing way, and decided to spend a week in your dorm room, with your extremely fat, perpetually drunken roommate, writing the stories of your college experiences, all of which would form one big story about your life.
Exposed through the stories are the grooves of collegegoing to the same crappy bar with the same crappy people again and again, the omnipresence of ADD during finals weeks and the inevitability of Adderall, sitting through the nightmarish three-hour lecture hall, the confusing treadmill sign-up sheet at the gym, spending countless hours chatting with peers online, and those name only a few. Plus, of the many pop culture references in the book, several relate to Saved by the Bell; it is hard not to perceive such wonderfully.
Anyone who will soon be, is currently, or once was a college student will thoroughly enjoy the book.
And, anyone who does not laugh out loud (LOL) at least three times in the first thirty pages of the book will receive their money back. In the book is a sound detector and a WIFI card, and all notifications of non-laughers will be sent, via internet, to the publishing company, who will credit your, or your parents, credit card if you purchased the book online, or will send a check to your local or college bookstore with your name on it. If the book was purchased at a bookstore with a credit card, arrangements can be made to have the card credited by a written notification on my wall.
Are you wondering what the first novel about college by a student in college will be like? Well, I often wonder many things: Why isn't the sky pink? Where in the world is Carmen SanDiego? Strictly from a biological point of view, why is it difficult for a human population to achieve a constant size? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? What is chucking wood? Since there is no use for them, why do books have page numbers?
You are not going to want to miss this book!
Cheddar is my favorite type of cheese.
We will speak soon.
I love you all.
Melvany
