The name is Carly, and recently I have had an epiphany. I have realized that life if not so much about being successful, as it is about being happy. It is not about what we do – it is about why we do it. It is not about getting the approval of others; it is about gaining our own. When we can look at ourselves and feel comfortable with the person we are we have then found our own serenity. Stop living vicariously through others – start living adamantly FOR them. I wish we would all pay more attention to our environment and wake up and realize how much we are hurting it. If everyone did their part we could reduce the amount of carbon dioxide we are emitting into our atmosphere. I have never realized how lucky I am; I can walk, feed myself, and sleep in my own bed. I have a roof over my head and food in my stomach and I can move all my limbs – what else should I seek? How selfish of a person have I become? There are quadriplegics out there that are more self-evident than I am. People who have lost everything, yet still maintain hope. What a blessing it is to be able to move our limbs, and how amazing is it that we can use our minds to actually think. So many minds go to waste, and it is time to realize how lucky every one of us is. The mundane can really be a beautiful thing if we just realize that at least we are alive. Due to recent events I have now realized how lucky I am to have a nitrogen base, a phosphate and a deoxyribose sugar – DNA. How lucky I am to have a mother and a father and my wonderful siblings. Judging from the way I grew up it is a shock how family oriented I have turned out to be. A lot of people do not know both their parents so what kind of person would I be to bitch about my childhood? I have a lot of growing up to do, and I am learning things about myself everyday. I know that I am the most versatile person I have ever met. My favorite genre of music is classical, yet I can belt out ‘California Love’ word for word verbatim. I’m really just a kind hearted gal looking for my soul mate. I talk a lot and just need someone to listen. I was alone in the sticks and now I am lost in the city. I used to be a writer and someday I am going to finish my damn book encompassing the many facets of my journey. I study languages, and among others Spanish and Japanese are my favorite. I collect things such as rocks and coins which everyone thinks is strange, but they make me happy. To say I am an insomniac would be an understatement. I am struggling with a habit that is killing me to quit. Determined to make something of myself, I won't stop until I am finished. I am tired of not feeling adequate enough for others, and I have finally realized that it doesn’t matter. I am good enough for myself and that is just going to have to suffice. Some classify me as neurotic - I say elusive undeniably.
Rest in peace for all the loved ones lost, for you will never be forgotten.
