Kris profile picture

Kris

Liquor in the front, poker in the rear!

About Me

First thing to know about me is that I think I'm funny, so thats all that really matters...

My Interests

I like movies, music, bowling, beer, fast cars, hot chicks, hot cars, fast chicks, not working, sleeping, eating, pooping (everybody's gotta do it, so you might as well enjoy it), going on adventures and your mom.

I'd like to meet:

Oh man... so many people I would like to meet.. Lets start with your mom, of course, I hear she is a lovely lady... Also, Christopher Walken (Whoa Man!), Dave Grohl, Jim Carrey, Chuck Norris, Mr. T, MC Hammer, Jesus, Bill Gates (He has so much money, I'm sure he could spot me a few grand), Jack White, Robert VanWinkle (Vanilla Ice), hot girls, Maynard James Keenan, Eddie Veder and Batman.... Almost forgot Jon Stewart.. (I'm a freakin' idiot.... You'll see...)

Music:

Nirvana, Tool, Pearl Jam, Thrice, Foo Fighters, Say Anything, Vendetta Red, Beatles, Led Zeppelin, MXPX, Bad Religion, Modest Mouse, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Meat Puppets, Leadbelly, Buzzcocks, Death Cab For Cutie, Postal Service, Aerosmith, Queen, The Who, Rise Against, Brand New, White Stripes, Raconteurs, Oasis, Muse, Weezer, Deftones, Radiohead, A Perfect Circle, Vanilla Ice, Ludacris, 2Pac, Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre, Eminem, Subways, Arctic Monkeys, Transplants, N.E.R.D., and a lot more I just can't think of right now... so GET OFF ME!!

Movies:

Oh man, this is gonna be almost as hard as music! Lets see... Superbad, Beerfest, Forrest Gump, Shawshank Redemption, American Psycho, Donnie Darko, Anchor Man, Talladega Nights, Waiting..., Wedding Crashers, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Taxi Driver, Pulp Fiction, Sin City, Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1, 2 & 3, Big Labowski, Brick, Thank You for Smoking, Mean Creek, Deer Hunter, Lord of War, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I Heart Huckabees, Broken Flowers, Boondock Saints, Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys, Lost in Translation, Life Aquatic, Game of Death, Sidekicks, Joe Dirt, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, Me, Myself & Irene, 40 Year Old Virgin, Lucky # Slevin... again, a ton more I can't think of right now, I used to work in a movie store for God's sake!

Television:

Arrested Development is probably the most amazing show ever. I don't have time for TV, plus I don't have cable anymore so whats the point? I watch the news and the Discovery Channel because that is all that I get. Oh, how my heart longs for anything on Comedy Central.. The Daily Show, Colbert Report, Reno 911, South Park, I also like me a good stand-up special... I still get Fox so I can watch Family Guy.. ATHF!!! If you don't know what that is then go away, you're ugly.. and stupid.. Just kidding.. But seriously..

Books:

The Da Vinci Code was pretty good.. And Cat in the Hat.. I like those too.. I'm a fan of pretty much anything with pictures. I'm not really a book guy, I'd rather just read the newspaper.. I read the shit out of newspapers!! What can I say? I like to know whats happening in the world around me..

Heroes:

Your mom, my mom, Chuck Norris, sharks, Mr. T, Kurt Cobain, Dave Grohl, Batman, Terd Furgison, Jon Stewart, Abraham Lincoln and last but not least, Jesus. (I love you Jesus!)

My Blog

What the Hell, Man?!?!?!

As most of you know I have 2 jobs. So, after going to bed at a little before 10 last night I got up at 1:30 to leave for work. Sure it sucks working on 3 and a half hours of sleep but today I had a co...
Posted by Kris on Thu, 07 Jun 2007 11:43:00 PST

Blogs are for.... Dogs?

Either that or logs, but that sounds stupid. I'm hungry and bored.. A horrible combo... Mmmm, combo.. like a combo meal, or combo pizza or those little pretzel things with stuff in the middle.. Until ...
Posted by Kris on Thu, 05 Apr 2007 02:20:00 PST

I can't FUCKING wait!

I can't wait until June for many reasons. There is one reason in particular that I am especially looking forward to. Some of you know what that is. Some of you don't. It will be ama-za-zing.
Posted by Kris on Wed, 21 Feb 2007 07:52:00 PST

Happy Birthday!

Happy Kurt Cobain's Birthday everyone!! He would be 40 today.
Posted by Kris on Wed, 21 Feb 2007 08:40:00 PST

Don't Ever Eat at OCB

I shit in the mashed potatoes at Old Country Buffet.
Posted by Kris on Mon, 19 Feb 2007 12:10:00 PST

Hey, how about you go...

Fuck yourself!!! Bitches!
Posted by Kris on Tue, 09 Jan 2007 08:02:00 PST

Guess what sucks

Having mono sucks, Jackass!! Also becoming aenemic because of the mono! The aenemia is also causing my liver and spleen to be weak so no drinking for a while... Also no contact sports or rough physica...
Posted by Kris on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 02:46:00 PST

None of Your Business!

Damn! You are a nosey son of a bitch!
Posted by Kris on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 11:13:00 PST

Bumbershoot '06

So last weekend I went to Bumbershoot with some friends. It was, to put it simply, hmmm.... fucking amazing... Yeah that works. So this is Bumbershoot as I remember it... Got home around 5, chugged 2 ...
Posted by Kris on Thu, 07 Sep 2006 02:33:00 PST

Holy Shit.....

Beerfest is the most inspiring, influential, and amazing movie I have ever seen. For those of you reading this who have not seen it yet, either go see it immediately or kill yourself because your...
Posted by Kris on Mon, 28 Aug 2006 01:15:00 PST