About Me
It starts with stars, beyond the skies, beyond the heavens, beyond our reach, but we wonder, we try, we reach out and grab,
I am a star. I am a shining star, and I am beyond your reach
And no matter how many ships you build you will never reach me. I exist among you I speak to you,
I’m a giant. I can’t be missed. You see me, and want to know, what I am, what it’s like, to be me to exist like I do and its painful and it hurts and it’s wonderful and chaotic and tiring. And it’s not whining, it’s not, it’s not, it just hurt, and it needs to be expressed, you need to hear it, and it’s not whining because it’s true. I bleed, I cry, and die for you, I defecate my pain for you but you’ll never know, because you are you and I am me and I am cursed and in love. With you, and with my self, and with everyone and with earth and nature and my pain and my struggling- struggling-to breath, to think, to be understood and accepted, I don’t need words, I don’t need sound. You see it, you see it when you look at me, I’ m different
Is that possible, not just for me but for everyone, they’re all irrelevant, you are irrelevant. Do you understand? You mean nothing to me, nothing you are the pain I defecate, I need you acceptance. Pease love me. Love me, love me and be gone, go away I don’t have time for you, there’s no time, no time, I have a lifetime to figure all this out, but just one life, that’s it just one. And it’ll end- it’ll end with the stars, and I’ll be one of them, a giant, and you’ll look to me with your telescope, shining beyond the sky, but you’ll never reach me.. I’m a star, I’m untouchable, I’m special, different, I’m superior, important and useless, I’m in my head I’m in your way and you will look at me and you will reach out and you’ll see that I’m a ghost, I’m a mirage a dream, I’m everything you think and feel and want and love and hate. I’m
I am who I believe myself to be.
I have become who has come before me.
I will become what lies ahead.
At once I am at peace and at war with myself.
I am horrified by my fantasies,
intrigued by my desires,
imprisoned by my shortcomings,
in love with my strength.
I am who I believe myself to be.
I am who I have become.
A Warning to My Readers
Do not think me gentle
because I speak in praise
of gentleness, or elegant
because I honor the grace
that keeps this world. I am
a man crude as any,
gross of speech, intolerant,
stubborn, angry, full
of fits and furies. That I
may have spoken well
at times, is not natural.
A wonder is what it is.
.
