Derek profile picture

Derek

derekoberg

About Me


(As told by Bradley Taylor )
Hi there. My name is Derek. I am 27 years old, and a technical writer. I also own 12 skyscrapers in the Seattle area alone. Las Vegas is a second home to me, I fly down there in my private helicopter at least once a month to relax. I live in a cozy little 13 bedroom house, and have an adorable invisible pet dog. So I guess things are going pretty good for me but it wasn’t always this way… When I was just a little boy I lived in East Germany, it was 1982 and WWII was well under way. I remember of course because the war started immediately after the hundred year war, the civil war, and desert storm. I lived in a family of 46, of which I was the youngest. Every morning I would walk the streets and sell sticks for breadcrumbs. Until one day a man named Abraham Simpson brought me on board a zeppelin using me as an umbrella(second job at the time). Aboard the zeppelin I enjoyed a perfectly safe trip until we finally landed in Alaska. After we landed everyone formed a straight line and one by one they would take exactly three steps out the door and snap a picture, turn around and come back into the zeppelin. I tried to tell the crew that I was just an umbrella and didn’t own a camera, but they forced me into the line anyway. Of course because of the delaying argument with the crew I was very last in line. When it came my turn to step off the zeppelin the door slammed behind me and took of like a rocket. Sometimes I can still hear Mr. Simpson screaming “My umbrella!” After wandering through miles and miles of Alaskan wilderness, I was taken in by a kindly flock of geese and it was with them that I learned the ways of the goose. I remember hunting polar bear with the geese. They could bring a polar bear down easily, and one polar bear would be enough food for two weeks. I lived a happy life as a goose until the geese flew south for the winter. I followed them on foot as long as I could until I couldn’t see them anymore, finally ending up in Seattle. I couldn’t go back to my old job because sticks were scarce and most of them were privately owned. But luckily I took a technical writing course when I was four in Germany. And as it turned out, technical writing paid a lot more than selling sticks. Ever since then my luck has been improving, and now I can finally live out my life long dream, selling cocaine in the comfort of my very own solid gold swimming pool.

My Interests

I'm a geek and I will never deny it. I LOVE comic books, cartoons, Star Trek, that sort of shit. I came from a group of friends where all we did was sit around and draw, but I haven't done it in so long that I feel like I'm not any good anymore. I love coloring in PhotoShop. I work with my childhood best friend Shawn Bird a lot, coloring the stuff he does. You can see it all on the Soul Doubt Comics page.

I'd like to meet:

The only people I ever talk to on MySpace are people I already know in person. I'm open to meeting anyone else, as long as you send me a message before adding me. I'm not into adding anyone I can just to see my number of friends climb.

Favorite Bands

Siouxsie and the Banshees

"Cast me out and save your soul from madness, rhyme and reason."
Oingo Boingo

"Nothing's for nothing. Everything's right at your fingertips... For a price."
The Cure

"However unsure. However unwise. Day after day, play out our lives."
The Creatures

"I can't tell how it all first began. Just a face at a window, familliar."

Tori Amos

"Hey, do you know what this is doing to me? Here. In my head."
Björk

"I'm so bored with cowards who say they want and then they can't handle."
Radiohead

"In a little while I'll be gone. The moment's already passed, yeah it's gone."
Bright Eyes

"I guess it's just like breathing but not wanting to. There are some things you can't fake."

Patrick Wolf

"What a tragic cost for getting lost when you just can't find the light through this fog."
Joanna Newsom

"Never get so attached to a poem you forget truth that lacks lyricism."
Owen Pallett (Final Fantasy)

"Watch Alice get better and Peggy get stronger. They'll still publish once in a while."
Siouxsie Sioux

"Things aren't quite what they seem to be. Cursed human vanity."
View Friends
View Comments

Music:

Siouxsie and the Banshees, Oingo Boingo, The Cure, Björk, Patrick Wolf, Final Fantasy, Radiohead, Bright Eyes, Joanna Newsom, David Bowie, Sufjan Stevens, Ben Folds, Belle and Sebastian, The Faint, The Dresden Dolls, The Arcade Fire, The Postal Service, Mates of State, Rufus Wainwright, Modest Mouse, Spoon, Duran Duran, Prince, Blonde Redhead, Death Cab for Cutie

Movies:

My all-time favorite movie is Edward Scissorhands. I also really love Nightmare Before Christmas (as is obvious to anyone who has ever been in my apartment). Other great movies... Amelie, Moulin Rouge, Velvet Goldmine, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, As Good as it Gets. Tons more. I can't even think of them all.

Television:

My all-time favorite tv shows are no longer on. Those were 3rd Rock from the Sun and Deep Space 9. My favorite current shows are Heroes, Battlestar Galactica, Lost. Lately I've been obsessed with Golden Girls, Flight of the Conchords, The Colbert Report and Pushing Daisies.

Books:

Just finished "Christ the Lord: The Road to Cana" by Anne Rice. Also finished "The Illustrated Man" by Ray Bradbury. Currently reading "I am America (And So Can You)" by Stephen Colbert.

Heroes:

Sam Kieth, Neil Gaiman, Kurt Vonnegut, Edward Gorey, Siouxsie Sioux, Danny Elfman.

My Blog

Please?

I want this bust of Edward Scissorhands so bad it makes my insides hurt. If you love me you'll buy it for me.
Posted by Derek on Fri, 20 Jun 2008 03:40:00 PST

Milk

My friend Carl is addicted to movies. Every Tuesday he stops by Blockbuster to pick up the new releases, no matter how stupid or inane they may seem (to me anyway). He's also always in possession of f...
Posted by Derek on Thu, 19 Jun 2008 10:24:00 PST

I Love Kristen Schaal.

Kristen Schaal plays the delightfully creepy "only fan" Mel in Flight of the Conchords. She is also John Stewart's "Senior Female Correspondant" on the Daily Show. On the 6th she did a hysterical pie...
Posted by Derek on Wed, 18 Jun 2008 03:25:00 PST

Good for them!

Breaking ground is nothing new in the nearly six-decade relationship of Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon.Phyllis Lyon, left, and Del Martin, shown at home in 2004, founded the nation's first lesbian organ...
Posted by Derek on Mon, 16 Jun 2008 03:03:00 PST

Dykes...

I really admire lesbians. I walk around and randomly see couples that have been together for as long as I have lived in this city (almost three years now). It's like the joke. "Q: What does a lesbian ...
Posted by Derek on Mon, 16 Jun 2008 01:41:00 PST

Streetlamps and Shadows

I drink a lot these days. Far too much, actually. But I have grown to love the moment when I am stumbling home by myself at two o'clock in the morning and I pass the Baptist Cathedral on&nb...
Posted by Derek on Mon, 09 Jun 2008 01:14:00 PST

Sandra Bernhard Anyone??

I bought 2 tickets to Sandra Bernhard at the Expo at the Convention Center on June 21st, 7pm, thinking that it would be something to do with my brother while he was out... Only to realize that he's no...
Posted by Derek on Fri, 23 May 2008 02:22:00 PST

Another One Bites the Dust

Bye Rachel! I love you. Have fun back in dumb old Utah. Who's gonna make everyone think I'm straight every time we go out together now?? Who's gonna cut my hair?? Who am I gonna drink wine with? *sigh...
Posted by Derek on Fri, 23 May 2008 12:04:00 PST

What Do the Golden Girls Look Like Today?

In keeping with my current profile, I thought it would be interesting to look up how the Golden Girls look today, 20 years after-the-fact. About as good as can be expected, unfortunately. Bea Arthur R...
Posted by Derek on Thu, 22 May 2008 11:01:00 PST

Virginia / DC Trip

Pictures only. Too lazy for a narrative. Click to embiggen. ...
Posted by Derek on Fri, 18 Apr 2008 07:46:00 PST