About Me
This website is for anyone who has lost a loved one. It's for anyone, for people who are just beginning their stages of grief, or for those ready to find closure and healing. Either way, it's a place for people to come together and face their tragedies together, and eventually..heal
"If you suppress grief too much, it can well redouble."~Moliere
Stages of grief 1. Denial - Do not feel like you are betraying the memory of your loved one if you disconnect yourself emotionally from the situation at hand. This is a normal stage of grief, you will depersonalize the situation, acting like nothing is wrong, and may even appear happy to others around you, or you may feel completely numb to all feelings.
2. Anger
"Whenever one's identity and social order face the possibility of destruction, there is a natural tendency to feel angry, frustrated, helpless, and/or hurt. The volatile reactions of terror, hatred, resentment, and jealousy are often experienced as emotional manifestations of these feelings."
The quote above is a pretty good description. Once you are past the initial shock of the loss, anger sets in. The anger can be turned outward, towards others, trying to point the finger or blame someone for the incident, or the anger can be turned inward. Questions like, why did I say those awful things to them why they were still alive? or why didn't I say goodbye when I had the chance? Or you just may be filled with anger in general, angry that your loved one was taken from you. Also, you could feel anger towards your loved one, because sometimes we see the death of our loved one as abandonment...feeling angry because they left us.
3. Bargaining - This is where one bargains with some sort of higher being, promising to do this or that, or become a better person if the loss or the pain of the loss is taken away.
4. Depression - This is where one feels absolute hopelessness and despair, and sometimes, may not even care about life anymore..it is a dangerous stage to be in, because if the depression lingers within the persons soul, it can wear down their spirits..and may even lead to suicide. Sometimes its easy to chose to stay stuck in this stage, because sometimes the pain is comforting, because if you are in pain, people will take care of you. However, you must take care of yourself, it is you who will allow yourself to heal, and it is you who will walk down the road towards ACCEPTANCE.
5. Acceptance - This is where all the anger and sadness starts to fade away. The sadness will never completely go away, because you loved that person, and they will always be in your heart. However, This is when you simply accept the loss of your loved one.
Growth
This is not a stage that is normally discussed, but I believe its important to remind people that even though you are suffering, the experience is making you stronger. You will grow spiritually, and you will grow as a person by going through this loss. When you come out the other end, and look back...you will see how mucn knowledge you have gained through this inevitable life experience. Everyone goes through it. However, the way you choose to handle it and the way you allow it to change you..is what seperates you from the rest. I have experienced a lot of loss in my 20 years of life, I've lost my grandma, my uncle, my two cousins, a friend, and my mother, and it's taken me a long time to heal...in fact I am still healing, but i'm trying my hardest not to let it destroy me, and I want to help others, which is why I made this site. The truth is, we are all in this together, and we can all get through this t o g e t h e r.
Tips -Take your time to grieve, don't let others rush you or tell you to get over it. Everyone grieves at their own pace
-Cry, do not hold back the tears because of what others will think. Who cares what they think? They have no idea what you are experiencing, and crying helps release all of the emotions inside of you.
-There will be good days and bad days, the only thing you can do is to take this one day at a time.
-Remember the loved one. If you need to talk about them, talk about them. Look at photographs, reminisce on the good times, do not dwell on the bad.
-Seek counseling if you need to, do not think badly of yourself if you need the aid of a counselor. Grief counseling is available.
-Remember that grief is individual to you, everyone experiences it differently, and you are not better or worse than anyone who experiences it differently.
