Revised June 2009
1. My real name is Lauren.
2. I was born in Pasadena, California, but grew up in Florida after I turned four.
3. I spell awfully, and the only reason I have proper grammar and such is because this was typed on Word.
4. I am a Creative Writing Major at USF.
5. Do not confuse “your†and “you’re†unless you want me to bite your head off.
6. Do not confuse “there†and “their†and “they’re†either.
7. I hate bad breath. I have no problem telling you straight up, either.
8. If you breathe too loud, I cannot be your friend.
9. I have the mouth of a sailor. Fuckin’ get over it.
10. I love wearing jackets. I will wear a jacket even if it is like, 90 degrees outside. I am wearing a jacket right now.
11. I love pain. Physical pain, like being scratched or bit >:D
12. I love animals.
13. I love to eat animals more. Nom nom!
14. Speaking of animals, frogs and toads are my favorite.
15. Cleaning my fingernails is one of my favorite past times.
16. I have really dry skin on my pitters and behind my kneecaps
17. I can swallow a hard-boiled egg whole, without chewing.
18. My first job was making balloon animals.
19. I like it rough. ha ;]
20. I am allergic to chocolate, pineapples, and tomatoes.
21. I have a phobia of public bathrooms and avoid them at all costs
22. I really like saying and spelling the word "spaghetti".
23. My mom's voice makes me angry.
24. I have the attention span of a goldfish.
25. I really don’t prefer one flavor of gum over another. Gum is gum.
26. I have a commitment phobia.
27. I am one of the biggest procrastinators that you will ever meet, but I will get the job done.
28. I am blunt, and I don’t give a shit.
29. For some reason, I seem to attract the WEIRDEST people. And, honestly, I love it.
30. I don’t do chick flicks.
31. I am the only person alive to not have cried during The Notebook.
32. I have never been to a club.
33. I could spend all day watching cartoons.
34. Chest hair is a HUGE turn off.
35. Actually, all body hair is a HUGE turn off.
36. I can’t whistle!
37. I only shit on Sundays; it’s a very holy day.
38. I have 10 tattoos at the time being and yessum, I am planning on getting more.
39. If you have never had a horse as your pet, then you will never understand the relationship you can build with it
40. I am learning how to speak, read, and write ã«ã»ã‚“ã”。
41. I am slowly turning into a rock star.
42. I love change.
43. I have NO self-esteem
44. I am fond of people with big noses.
45. I’ll never forget what you tell me.
46. I’ll never forget what you owe me
47. I work to get away from reality.
48. I have gray eyes, simply because they have less melanin in them than blue eyes.
49. I love the beach, and everything associated with it.
50. AND no, I don’t look good in a bathing suit
51. I do drugs, but I’m not addicted to any of them, nor do I let them control my life.
52. I enjoy partying.
53. I love roller coasters.
54. I will do almost anything for money.
55. I believe that burning your tongue is possibly the worst pain you can experience
56. I eat ground up coffee for energy (as if I really need more, right?)
57. I like pugs.
58. I am highly allergic to V8.
59. I am addicted to root beer
60. I ONLY look good on Myspace
61. I am ashamed of my belly button
62. I am not a good driver
63. I think pussies look like monsters, thus I could never be bi or gay
64. I only write with pens and sharpies.
65. The 1st concert I went to was the Spice Girls.
66. I have a small red mole on my chest, between my tits.
67. Speaking of boobs, I am a 34 DD and quite proud of it
68. I love sweet tea!!
69. Honey Dew Melon scented things smell like pickles and that’s just sick
70. I HATE mushrooms. Icky fungi
71. Eye boogers or sleepers or whatever you want to call them make me want to hurl.
72. My stuffed animal Fish has been to more states, countries, and continents than you have
73. The majority of the scars on my body are due to cigarette burns.
74. I will be a millionaire by 30
75. Disney movies make me cry
76. I have totaled my BMW twice in 7 months
77. I am a Harry Potter fanatic.
78. I am partially allergic to bleach
79. I like to roll my ice cream in frosted flakes or oatmeal. That shit is good.
80. Oh and yes, I am fat.
81. My toenails fall off often. Too often.
82. I love land snakes, but sea snakes scare me to death
83. I have an extra vertebra in my neck.
84. You can tell if I am sleepy by the way I walk; my legs do not work properly when I am tired
85. I have 11 piercings.
86. I have a guitar that I never play.
87. I am always cold due to the lack of iron in my blood.
88. I am ticklish everywhere! EVERYWHERE!
89. I am really lazy.
90. I puked on a friend’s sofa and ruined it. Oops.
91. My car is a fucking disaster.
92. I think that hard nipples are unattractive.
93. I am a klutz.
94. I get Charlie horses every other night, if not more.
95. I haven’t eaten Chef Boy R D in about 11 years
96. I prefer Aquafena to Dasani or Zephyrhills bottled water
97. R. L. Stine is probably the second best author to J. K. Rowling
98. I never got to baptize Redwings :[
99. I currently drive a burgundy Pathfinder. Fun shit!
100. The sight of ants makes me itch
101. The feel of cotton balls is more than disturbing
102. I like the smell of old books.
103. I collect 2-dollar bills.
104. I brush my nails more often then I brush my hair.
105. I still sleep with my baby blanket.
106. Bright lights make me sneeze
107. I cut my own hair
108. My favorite color is blue, but does it really matter?
109. I am easily distracted. Someone put me on Adderall, goddamnit!
110. I hope to open an animal sanctuary when I become that millionaire stated in 74.
111. Compliments hurt my feelings, because I take them in as sarcastic insults.
112. People with low work ethics piss me off more than anything
113. Eating apples make me sick (??)
114. I really like scratching my head; I don’t know why, I just do
115. I wish people weren’t so mean to one another.
116. I am growing my hair out. At some point in my life, I hope to have hair that is like, all one length!
117. Raw collard greens are delicious
118. I don’t recover from emotional pain well.
119. I love it when guys kiss me on my forehead.
120. I don't believe in “love".
121. I do not want to have any children.
122. Needles from the doctors scare me, but oddly enough, tattoo needles don’t.
123. I’m not a jealous person, simply because I don’t have anyone to be jealous over.
124. I am not sure as to what my real hair color is. Brown, I think?
125. Not to sound coincided, but I have pretty fucking nice teeth for never having braces.
126. Magic is real. I wish Harry had a Myspace
127. I can’t cook. It’s not that I don’t know how to, it’s just, I never needed to. Parents have always been there. I can make some good cereal or something.
128. I think it’s better to lie in certain cases if it means not hurting someone you care about.
129. Hooking up over the Internet is pretty lame. Even though I do it sometimes :]
130. Can nose hair be removed by laser?
131. I talk louder when I’m nervous. Shouldn’t that be the other way around?
132. If you keep on sending me 1,000’s of messages and IM’s and I don’t reply to any them, it means I’m not interested! Not that hard to figure out!
133. Babies piss me off. I don’t have a reason, but they just make me so mad when I look at them.
134. I have never really “flicked†someone off before. I don’t even know when I should use it.
135. I think the only males attracted to me are truckers and dudes at gas stations.
136. I love celery.
137. I eat healthy and whatnot, but I’m still fat. Oh well.
138. Thin people like me because I make them look good.
139. My dream date would consist of a dark room with two computers ready to go to play WOW
140. I don’t have back dimples. Only cellulite and stretch marks.
141. Paint Shop Pro should make a line of makeup; I’d wear it every day.
142. I have blonde eyelashes, so not wearing mascara isn’t a logical decision
143. I wish my house had more than 3 bathrooms
144. I yawn more than crack my knuckles. And I crack my knuckles A LOT
145. Don’t question my Myspace quote.
146. I really hate my ex-bfs.
147. I never wear panties.
148. Redwings was probably the only thing that I really loved.
149. Watching Muppet Treasure Island makes me the most happy.
150. I am musically handicapped.
151. Everything happens for a reason.
152. But if I had the chance to change my past, I would wish that my 9th grade year at Wesley Chapel never occurred.
153. I hope that I am reincarnated into a bear or something killer like that. r0ar, imma tank!
154. I have come close to the brink of death MANY times.
155. The best thing about me is my personality.
156. The most unbelievable things happen to me in the most believable times .
157. I don’t know anyone who has the same birthday as me. (December 14th).
158. I have never been in a fistfight with a chick.
159. I have, however, slapped and punch many dudes.
160. I am the worst singer ever.
161. Eyes, teeth, and noses are the first things I notice about guys :]
162. I carry many mistakes, but only one regret.
163. I love popping pimples. Like, the sound it makes when it pops is just, orgasmic.
164. People tell me that I look like Ashlee Simpson, a lot.
165. I’m pretty tall, I’m 5'9".
166. My favorite scent is vanilla.
167. Or plastic. Either one will do.
168. Siblings annoy the shit out of me, especially younger ones that aren’t related to you and you really can’t like, push them over because then you’ll get in trouble. LAME!
169. I like to sleep.
170. I don’t like to hug strangers, because then like, my tits brush up against them and if they get a boner then it’s so gross…
171. I pull many all nighters.
172. I have never been ‘rushed’ to the ER.
173. Call me Boobs Maghee, Lauren, Ren, or Logan.
174. I’m a Sagittarius, but I really don’t believe in that stuff.
175. I have 20/20 vision. Seriously.
176. Just because I cut my own hair doesn't mean I want to cut yours.
177. I have never bungee jumped.
178. Nor have I ever been arrested.
179. Lighters confuse the hell out of me.
180. Even though I smoke, ALOT.
181. I have never cheated on someone, simply because I don’t have anyone to cheat on…
182. You know, I have never been to a funeral.
183. I only eat ice cream on every other Sunday. Don’t ask.
184. Sending me “silly†messages referring to my name really isn’t funny. Since I have like 3000 messages chilling in my inbox all relating to cocks and tits, the humor is gone.
185. I don’t eat cereal for breakfast. Instead, I eat cold leftovers from the night before.
186. I don’t like going to theme parks because I’m fat.
187. I wish I could live in Hawaii. Like, in Hilo. So beautiful…
188. I eat lasagna without red sauce.
189. If I had a boyfriend, believe me, I would be the best thing that would ever happen to him!!
190. Too bad I can’t marry Starbucks.
191. Too bad Starbucks isn’t calorie free.
192. Scary and horror movies pwn any other genre.
193. I really don’t dig facial hair. Sorry, guys :<[br />
194. Oh my god, feed me croutons for the rest of my life and I shall die happy.
195. Licking deodorant dries my mouth out horribly.
196. I do not know what ‘cyber-sex’ is, so don’t ask me for any.
197. I have eaten bear before.
198. My worst bad habit: smelling things. Like, I have to smell just about everything. I don’t know why, it’s just a habit that I am trying to overcome.
199. I don’t believe in a Christian God.
200. I am a certified bartender. Alchy ftw!
201. My first real kiss was in 8th grade.
202. I have a double chin.
203. I have been to only one sporting event--it was a hockey game
204. I fucking love fish.
205. I like farting in the bath tub.
206. Iggy the Iguana is my favorite beanie baby
207. 100A has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING!
208. People with big foreheads really piss me off.
209. No one looks good in Purple clothes.
210. I believe in evolution, so as such, I believe we came from Homo.
211. Mustaches are HUGE turnoffs. Gross.
212. Quote me a line from Sponge Bob. Any line. I’ll be able to tell you what episode it is from, guaranteed.
213. Smoking hookah is equivalent to having sex—I’m always down for either of them!
214. When I get drunk, I start hiccupping.
215. When I eat spaghetti, I start hiccupping.
216. A lot of my pants have holes in them where holes shouldn’t be.
217. I think I want coffee now.
218. I like to bite down on my lip ring so that it digs into my gums, and the pain is similar to flossing your teeth really hard and cutting them open.
219. Oh yeah, I like inflicting pain when I floss.
220. I like watching fish swim.
221. I love video games, but HATE sport related video games.
222. I want to have a tail like a Tauren, since I already have the feet and stomach to match!
223. Yes this means I have hooves. (size 11)
224. Open cans of Monster Energy Drinks never go bad. Trust me.
225. One day, I would like to own a sheep and a donkey.
226. Men wearing black hats scare me.
227. I will one day die by steamroller. I just know ever since I watched Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
228. I rarely wear makeup outside of myspace.
229. Everything should be open 24 hours. Such as Sally's and bar b q restaurants and Hobby Lobby.
230. If you ever fart around me, you better hope to god a doorknob is nearby unless you want me to kick the shit out of you.
231. A black tank top and cheer leading shorts is my normal attire
232. Don't EVER question my video game motives. I do what I want to do.
233. If you hack my myspace, you will lose either your car or your kneecaps. Perhaps both.
234. I HATE USF.
235. I burp and fart in public and could care less.
236. I drive and smoke a lot of ciggies to clear my head.
237. I eat everything with hot sauce. Everything.
238. I HATE liars. And I know when someone is lying, whether it be irl or through text.
239. There are roughly 7 billion people on this planet; one day, I hope to meet them all.
240. I am no longer a child, so do not treat me as such.
241. I watched my father die in front of my eyes.
242. I am always optimistic despite what I have experienced.
243. I love my new job, and I foresee myself being there ‘til the day I die.
244. Friends and lovers come and go, but family will be there forever. I didn’t believe that at first… but over time, I have realized that this cliché saying is 100% true.
245. You only live once, so live your life to the fullest like I do!
246. Age is just a number. Remember that.
247. Getting good grades in school doesn’t make you intelligent. Being able to rationalize the world you live in does.
248. I will blow your mind without you even knowing it.
249. Don’t judge me by what I have done… judge me by who I am now.
250. I have been reborn.
oh and ps
DONT STEAL MY PICUTURES
