Hi, my name is Jonathan. I'm a Jellybean. I have a chewy texture inside a stiff, waxen coat. It's my all-weather overcoat for an unchewy world. It's true, I'm a resilient man, but extreme weather does leave its mark. I used to believe the stories Grandpa told me about the future promised to us, the future when all things would be chewy. Beneath the patina of simplicity, I now see a deeper vision in those tales. Chewiness may indeed be the condition, but taste may forever be the key. Dwell on that: the key taste for a chewy world.
If your heart is pure, I taste like the Wisdom of the Ancients. If your heart has holes in it from a ferment of unexecuted plans, I taste like the Most Precious Nostalgia. If you haven't a heart and your brain is wired for devastation, I taste like the Evil Secret. (But we won't talk about that.)
If you love me, I taste like the first time you laughed.
But don't chew me just yet. I want to get to know you a bit first. This is the fun part. Put on your slippers and pour two glasses of Perrier. Meet me out on the porch. I'll wear my black silk robe. I'll kiss you on your forehead and touch your cheek, pushing aside your perfect blond hair. You'll put your arms around me. You'll tell me what a beautiful Jellybean you thought I was the first time you laid eyes on me. I'll tell you it was the same for me.
We'll kiss for a long time and be as happy as Jellybeans can be.
