Anna profile picture

Anna

Presented in Double Vision! (Where drunk)

About Me

"I'm a madman at the end of my rope...and there's just enough rope left." - Teen Wolf...Anyway, Me. I used to drink a lot until I realized that there were alcoholics that drank less than me. I used to smoke a lot, now I don't smoke at all. I swear often. I used to spend a lot of time in a bar where everyone knew my name and I was often overserved. Now I just spend a lot of time in a new bar where everyone knows my name and I am not as often overserved because no one likes to go to jail. I have great friends. So great that I know they're better than yours. Unless of course, your friends are my friends. I like a good country omelette and really enjoy a bacon sandwich from Eddie's. I am allergic to citrus fruits. My cat Thumbs loves hummous so much Howlin' Jash calls her Thummous. I used to drive an old car that had a lot of new parts. Now I drive a new car with probably all new parts. My cat Chuck is 23 pounds of lean mean muscle. I used to live in an old house that had a lot of old things, but that burned down and now I have a new house with all new things. I am free of STDs and I have an underbite. I like to pretend that I have big muscles, but I know I don't. I have two older brothers who probably don't remember that I even exist, and a big sister who definitely knows where I am at at all times. I know the ins and outs of house insurance and don't know anything about accounting. I hate to shower but I do it anyway and I love a good beef jerky outlet. (Exit 6 off of I-75) I used to be unemployed and it was the greatest thing ever, now I am employed and it's not so bad. I sing George Michael, Lita Ford and Frank Sinatra at Karaoke and laugh my ass off when someone sings about Ho Chi Minh Trail or my boyfriend's sister sings Big Shot. I once killed a man with my bare hands, but quickly realized that he was not dead, just wounded by an aggressive high five.

My Interests

If you're interested in knowing what I'm interested in, you better have "Anna's Interests" listed under your interests. I'm interested in all sorts of things. Drinking beer, swearing and dirty jokes are always fun. I like shaking my fist at people. Instilling fear is the way to go. Ok, so I'm not scary in the least bit. I didn't mean to lie. I don't mean to hurt you when I do those things...c'mon baby....I just get so angry sometimes...oh yeah, and robots! Robots are the BEST. My most favorite robot quotes include "No disassemble", "Error...error...", "Computer working", and "Beep boop beep boop boop eeerp orp beep". Some of my favorite robots include Nick The Pizza Robot, Gino The Love Macheen, Johnny 5, Donbot, the leader of the Robot Mafia on Futurama and my sister.

I'd like to meet:

Bats McAwesome, Tim and Eric from TGTTM and Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job,Tyson the Skateboarding Bulldog. That dog rules!

Music:

I have the most random music collection ever. I love music. I am constantly listening to something...my most favorites include the Beatles, Pink Floyd, Motley Crue, Otis Redding, Sondre Lerche, Johnny Cash, Paul Simon, Gomez, The Paybacks, ELO, Ladysmith Black Mambazo, Zeppelin, The White Stripes, The Raconteurs Built to Spill, Nirvana, Morphine, Duran Duran, Jim Croce, Louis Prima (I eat antipasta twice just because she is so nice...), Sam Cooke, Erasure (yeah, I said it...no shame here), The Mamas and the Papas, old Smashing Pumpkins, Velvet Underground, Terrible 80s/90s rock bands, awesome 80s/90s metal, Van Morrison, Howlin' Wolf, The Impressions, The Reverend Horton Heat, the entire jukebox at Gusoline Alley.

Movies:

Back to the Beach is one of the best movies ever. I don't care what you say. My other favorites include Amelie, Barry Gordy's The Last Dragon, Billy Madison, Stand By Me, Haggard (I can almost taste it...with my nose.) The Jerk, Mommie Dearest (Clean up this MESS!!!), Swingers, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Resevoir Dogs, A Mighty Wind, actually, everything Christopher Guest, Hairspray, Anchorman, The Princess Bride, The State-Skits and Stickers* (*Stickers not Included)

Television:

I prefer educational shows that display my maturity such as The Simpsons (Uh oh...we've drawn Judge Snider...he's had it in for me since I kinda ran over his dog...but replace kinda with repeatedly, and dog with son...), Futurama, The Family Guy, Sealab 2021, Home Movies, Degrassi (new and old), Seinfeld, Tom Goes to the Mayor, Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! I love the comedic stylings of Lewis Black, Louis CK, Doug Benson, Dave Attell, Demetri Martin, ANYONE from The State, Jerry Seinfeld, FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS! Genious. Curb Your Enthusiasm, I love Iron Chef (Iron Chef Chen Kenichi RULES), and Good Eats on the Food Network, most shows Vh1 plays that involve people who used to be famous, PBS, Good Times, Sopranos, Ninja Warrior. The State was the greatest comedy show ever. If you disagree you are wrong. Dead wrong.

Books:

I love Augusten Burroughs, anything by David Sedaris, State By State with The State (An Uninformed, Poorly Researched Guide to the United States), Prostitution for Dummies (Did you know you are supposed to have SEX with these people?!? Thank God for this book...), Youth in Revolt series by CD Payne, Chuck Palahniuk

Heroes:

The police/firemen of Huntington Woods who put my house out of its misery and found my Thumbsy in the basement scared out of her mind. My dad for running in my house minutes after the fire was out to successfully find my Chuck. Dr. Zoidberg of Futurama, Drunk Tim of Chicago, Homsar of Homestarrunner, Casey and his Brother, The Stay in School Bear, Meatwad of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Sergeant Murphy of Sealab 2021 and the people who produced the album "When You're in Love the Whole World is Jewish". LeChaim!

My Blog

Spoiler Alert!

Patrick Bateman is Batman. Feed Batman a stray cat. Wow, a blog?? Yeah, I don't know either. The urge to leave the soft yet precise glow of the high definition television came shortly after something...
Posted by Anna on Fri, 20 Jun 2008 05:31:00 PST

Cod for dinner is not the winner.

Special thanks to The Goat for my subject heading. R.I.P. Cod Snack. You will be missed.I know I know&it's been a long time. I'm telling you, a woman of my popularity has difficulty finding time in ...
Posted by Anna on Tue, 10 Jul 2007 10:46:00 PST

Drink your babies 'cuz I'm thirsty!!!

I typed my subject into my phone one night after Howlin' Jash said it. I have no recollection of what we were talking about. I'm sure there was alcohol involved. You know, the kind that makes you d...
Posted by Anna on Sat, 13 Jan 2007 07:39:00 PST

At the top of this page it says

It's been awhile, I know, I know.  Lay off.  If it weren't for Screamin' Jim I wouldn't even be typing this blog right now.  Screamin' Jim, being the good pal he is, allowed me to borro...
Posted by Anna on Tue, 14 Nov 2006 08:16:00 PST

Is today the day we tip our brims to things gone huge and head to the land of Costco?

Special shout out to Howlin' Jash for my subject.  I've kept that particular text message stored in my phone for months now so I could remember to use it as a blog title.  I started to writ...
Posted by Anna on Thu, 07 Sep 2006 03:05:00 PST

It's the Def Leppard Chair...the arms keeps falling off!

Special Thanks to The Goat for providing my subject heading for the following blog.  This doesn't mean I'm forgiving you.  You're still dead to me. Lots and lots of things have happened sin...
Posted by Anna on Fri, 23 Jun 2006 07:25:00 PST

I done forgot...

Don't forget to check out this weeks Top 8 Tribute to all the multiple "Js" in my life...so all you Jims, Joshs and Joes...this week's for you!!! And Sparty, since I only have 3 Joshs, 2 Jims and 2 Jo...
Posted by Anna on Wed, 24 May 2006 09:52:00 PST

This is Rob Woolchips, signing off Channel 7 Action News...

My sister, boyfriend and I came to a conclusion on Sunday that Woolchips is definitely the coolest last name ever.  No,don't try and tell me you know a funnier one.  I don't want to hear it....
Posted by Anna on Wed, 24 May 2006 08:34:00 PST

People are always all boobs boobs boobs and Im like no&brain

Special thanks to Screamin Jim for that wonderful subject heading, see Ladies, Screamin Jim is where its at.  For those of you with boobs boobs boobs but lacking in brain, dont worry, hell give y...
Posted by Anna on Wed, 03 May 2006 05:23:00 PST

I thought I had a huge rip in my underwear&turns out I just had both legs in one leg hole&

Thanks Stone Cold Joe Po for my subject for this blog.  Without you, it would have been one of the following: 100 reasons why I hate dust My Life Story; The First 5 Years Pics from my ...
Posted by Anna on Thu, 23 Mar 2006 07:32:00 PST