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I have a imagination and fantasy life. I don't really like reality all that much. I find it alternately dismal, depressing and tragic. I like people on one level, but on another feel that most of them are pretty stupid. I am an only child and like a lot of love and attention but I also like being alone and not having anyone bother me. I have always had a fascination with introspection and when I was a teenager i used to take online quizzes all the time to find out more about myself--but I quickly discovered that everything they 'uncovered' was really quite obvious. I don't like to sleep at night, but unfortunately, my schedule pretty much demands it. For a period of time last year, my schedule was such that I could stay up all night on my computer and go to bed somewhere around mid-morning. I have always been that way, ever since I was little. I have been attending roosevelt College on and off for a number of years because I keep having problems deciding what I want to do, as there were a number of other things I wanted to learn as well. I am jealous of people who are more attractive than me or more talented or know more, or are simply smarter. Even though I am aware of the fact that intelligence rarely means happiness--almost always the opposite, in fact, I still hate my mental limitations. When I someone knows and understands a lot more about a subject than I do, it frustrates me. I find big brains sexy. I wish I could see the world the way I did when I was a child, as preception changes as you age, but you can't go back. Time seems to pass too quickly and that deperesses me-- and barely out of high school. The thoughts of aging and my own mortality are difficult to accept. I often have vivid dreams that i think about all day. I wish I could go back into them at will.I can't control my dreams, nor do I know that they are dreams.People generally precieve me as happy, silly and lighthearted.
