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LENA

..... ......Myspace Di

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I HAVE TRIED MY BEST OVER THE YEARS TO RIGHT BY OTHER, BELEIVING THAT IF I DO GOOD FOR AND TAWORD OTHERS THAT IT WILL COME BACK TO ME. PLUS IT MADE ME FEEL GREAT KNOWING THAT, THAT DAY THAT PERSON DIDN’T HAVE TO SUFFER OR DIDN’T HAVE TO SUFFER ALONE. AS TIME WENT ON I NOTICED THAT THE FRIENDS I HAD DIDN’T HAD RESPECT FOR ME, BUT WOULD SHOW LOVE WHEN THEY NEEDED SOMETHING.I ALWAYS HAD AN EAR OPEN FOR PROBLEMS AND A HEART TO GIVE, BUT I DID GET TIRED OF GETTING HURT AND OVER LOOKED WHEN THEY WERE DOING GOOD. I USE TO WONDER WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THE WORLD TODAY. HAS EVERYONE GONE MAD? OR WAS I IN THE WRONG PLACE?LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. WHY DO PEOPLE CALL THEM SELFS A GOOD PERSON, AND THEY TALK ABOUT HOW CAREING THEY ARE, BUT PURPOSELY BREAK YOUR HEART? WHY DO WOMEN SAY THEY ARE BOLD AND WHAT EVER THEY THINK, THEY SAY, AND HAVE NO PROBLEM DOING IT, BUT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT THE FRIST THING THEY DO IS SLANDER YOUR NAME AND SMILE IN YOUR FACE. WHY IS IT THAT A MAN CAN STAY WITH A WOMAN FOR YEARS BUT NEVER WANT TO MARRY? AND HE KNOWS HOW IT BREAKS HER HEART TO KNOW THAT SHE’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO MARRY BUT GOOD ENOUGH TO USE. THEM WHY SAY “I LOVE YOU”? IT’S LIKE MURDER TO THE SOUL WHEN THAT LOVE THEY THOUGH THEY HAD DECEVED THEM. I DON’T GET IT, SO WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE REAL COMES YOUR WAY, AND YOU ARE ALREADY DEFEATED. WHAT DO YOU DO.?
I was cold and hurting lost out in the night wandering and searching for heaven's lightI saw the night sky clearing when you spread your rainbow wings But little did I know what joy you would bringFrom that moment on a friendship did start you kissed away my tears and sheltered my heartI bless the day God sent him from above But then I grew fearful for I had fallen in loveI told you this feeling and what did you say? You said you liked our friendship and that's how it would stayI cried for a friendship I thought I lost But then felt your warm, gentle hand You then whispered in my ear that by my side you'll forever stand

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I live through my dark existence only to bask in your beauty your eyes that shine like sapphires your smile that brightens even my sad existence I envy the wind that runs through your hair that touches your lips I long to touch you to hold you in my arms but I cannot for your heart belongs to another so, I can only love you from afar your friendship means more to me than anything this world provides but like an angel you touched my heart in a way that I've never felt before cause I've never known what love is until this day I know that we are only friends but my heart wishes it to be more so I will still hope and dream that one day I can feel your lips pressed to mine to hold you in my arms and say, "I love you"
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I had this guy in my life that I had to let go. We were together for 4years. In those four years he used me for what ever he could get out of me.Rather it be sex, a ride, money, or a hot meal to eat. I had excepted him for who he was. I never thought that he would be someone that would drain all that faith I had in love. He knew what he was doing. He know I loved him and would do anything in the world for him.I never cheated on anyone that I had in my life, so it‘s not karma, I always gave my full love no matter what. So why would a man treat a good woman so bad?I thought I was good enough. I though he loved me the same. I put up with all his flaws. I was there when he was down, and was push to the side when he was up.When he didn’t have money to feed himself. I feed him. When he was sick. I babied him. When he had no car and I drove him around to take care of his business. I also took him to work and picked him up, and we worked two different shifts. I hardly slept.I should have paid attention to the signs. How disrespectful he was with me. Touching on me and didn’t care who saw. Not care about what my girls saw, you know what I mean. like one min he was there, and the next he wasn’t, and then he would be there again. He never treated me like a lady. Never wanted to be seen in public with me, And I know I look good. Never wanted to bond with my girls. And always keep me away from his family.I can drag this on forever but it would not do me any good. I just want to know one thing, WHY?After all I’ve done, WHY? After four years of loving him in every way, WHY? After I forgave him for cheating and running games on me, WHY? Why misuse my love?Why treat me less then what I was? Why feed me your shit and couldn’t smell mine? WHY? Love, it there, but it think I was excluded. Love wont give me a brake. It wont even look my direction.You know the killer part about love, you always get someone your not into want you, the uglys, the means, the gang bingers, the dealers, the one’s with to many baby mama’s, and the ones with nothing going for them selves.I just want to know why dose it have to be this way.SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHY
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• To all of the duds i had to dump, and all the ones who dumped me• To all females who hated on me because of your own issues• To my grand mother for raising me• To my mother for having me• To my kids for driving me crazy and then loving me• To all of you that past me on the street and never said hello back when I spoke.• To all the bangers in the hood that make it hard for my kids to have a normal life because they cant play out side like I use to as a kid• To the drug dealers that helped my mom get high when I was a kid, yeah that made my life so great• Oh yeah and to every one who didn’t hang with me because I didn't fit in• And one more how about to the lord, because no matter what others thought of me, how they treated me, looked over me and used me because they though i wasn't worth being treated right, and because of all that i had to go through with out a helping hand. He still made me a better person, because all that they put me through was just what he needed to be made stronger in mind and in heart, and all i had to go through made me more willing to keep pushing through. so thank you all you haters for helping get to where i am.• So for real I would like to thank everyone to pass through my life and every one who’s still here, no matter what you do it’s what I need to be me.
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I'm sitting here filled with wonder At the amazing things you do How the waters stay in the oceans And the vast beauty of the viewHow the stars are hung in the sky Within them is written your word How we are the following sheep And you are the only ShepherdHow the sky is painted with color Bursts of orange in the sunset glow How much knowledge it took to make And how little us humans knowHow intricately you planned it There was nothing you left unthought From the delicacy of a baby To all the sins of ours you boughtThere's no other love that's out there As deep and as faithful and true No other comfort to be found Because nothing compares to youNothing compares to your miracles Or the listening time you spend How you always take good care of us And our broken hearts that you mendTo us, our problems like mountains To you, they're no problem at all You're ever so watchful and there To help catch us, when we do fallI'm just sitting here filled with wonder At the awesome things that you do At being our Lord and Savior Because nothing compares to You!


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Posted by LENA on Tue, 02 Jan 2007 02:52:00 PST