Greetings my children |
Jesus would like you to know that I have been busy, but I have been thinking of all of you. I now have a twitter, and it is good. If you would like to follow Jesus on twitter, this would make The Lord...
Posted by on Sun, 10 May 2009 21:42:00 GMT |
Jesus is having an ice cream party. |
Tomorrow is my birthday children, as you all well know. The Lord would like you to be aware that I am having a birthday ice cream party. Everyone is invited, please bring lots of ice cream. Jesus like...
Posted by on Wed, 24 Dec 2008 19:31:00 GMT |
The Lord needs potatoes. |
My children, please send Jesus as many potatoes as you can find. I am doing a very special experiment that requires potatoes. Amen
Posted by on Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:03:00 GMT |
Confessions |
Jesus would like to hear your confessions. Never fear my children, all sins will be forgiven, so long as you trust in the Lord and clean your undergarments daily. The Lord is always there to help his ...
Posted by on Sun, 24 Aug 2008 16:38:00 GMT |
Dear Nikki |
Nikki has a question for Jesus. Nikki has brought to my attention that I have not answered her question. What was your question my child? Jesus will try to answer very promptly this time. Give me pizz...
Posted by on Thu, 17 Jul 2008 15:43:00 GMT |
Molding people into the Lord’s image |
I just received a large case of play doh, so I am going to play with it for a while and make more people. Jesus loves molding heavenly bodies. St. Peter really likes the blue play doh, but I've inform...
Posted by on Tue, 01 Jul 2008 07:15:00 GMT |
To all of my children |
I realize I have been away for some time, and I am here to answer any questions and concerns you may have. Please make sure to submit all questions before 12 o'clock, because Mary is making peanut but...
Posted by on Wed, 18 Jun 2008 09:08:00 GMT |
The Lord loves cats |
One of God's beautiful creatures has given me a very nice picture I'd like to share with my flock. It has filled me with much happiness and warmth.
Posted by on Fri, 06 Jun 2008 07:30:00 GMT |
Please don’t spam Jesus |
Jesus does love all the Lord's children, but Jesus does not love spam. Spam is unholy and impure, and most unclean. And I do not have to tell you what happens to those spam. I will smite t...
Posted by on Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:55:00 GMT |
Ask Jesus |
Do you have questions for Jesus? I would be overjoyed and delighted to answer questions from all my children. Special requests? Leave all your requests with Jesus. Go with God.
Posted by on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:45:00 GMT |
