I am both a particle and a wave. The things which allow me to go on despite my indeterminate state include: Inklings. Knights Templar. Good beer. Gorillaz. Cats, dogs, and other animals we pretend we own. Charles Williams. Macintosh (the Apple, not the apple). Dungeons and Dragons. Anglican spirituality. Really good beer (Lake Louie rules and sad, sad tidings to those of you who love beer and do not live in central Wisconsin). The OED. NPR. iPod as a means of feeding audiobook addiction. Intense physical intimacy that you can still taste on your tongue the next day. Thomas Cahill. My cat is cuter than your cat. Sarah Vowell and Tina Fey are the sexiest women alive--except for whatever woman I'm talking to at the moment. Everyone should call Van Morrison "Uncle Van" and stop listening to anything he's recorded since some yet to be determined point in the 1980's. No, really, my cat has been scientifically proven to be the cutest cat in the known universe. If beatification existed in the church of the mind, Jim Henson would be a saint. The only thing better than learning is teaching, and the only thing better than teaching is learning. Paradox is an essential part of the mind of a person who is both sane and paying attention. The best poetry the romantic poets ever wrote was about how they could no longer write poetry. Dancing is best done with eyes closed and a sixth sense among the flailing bodies on the dace floor that allows them to avoid collision. The soul is here for its own joy, the mind for loving a true love... mysteries are not meant to be solved, the eye goes blind when it only wants to see why. I plagiarized that last bit.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: EVC
Birthday: 4 October 1969
Birthplace: melrose park, Illinois
Current Location: Madison, WI
Eye Color: Hazel
Hair Color: Brown
Height: just shy of 6'2"
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: English, German, Europian mutt
The Shoes You Wore Today: beat up old brown wingtips and black Chuck Taylors
Your Weakness: weakness is strength
Your Fears: strength
Your Perfect Pizza: thin, flaky crust with everything
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: No longer be financially bent over a stump, publish articles and/or short stories regularly
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I don't do anything instant
Thoughts First Waking Up: The giant, ancient tree outside the window by my bed is about the coolest thing you could see on first waking up, especially if squirrels are running around it
Your Best Physical Feature: If I was feeling snarky, I'd say my spirituality. But I'll say hair. Or eyes. Or, um, nevermind.
Your Bedtime: Hah!
Your Most Missed Memory: 11 years old, riding bikes to the dump to hang out
Pepsi or Coke: I rarely drink soda pop, unless an intense craving hits.
MacDonalds or Burger King: I rarely eat fast food, unless an intense craving hits.
Single or Group Dates: yes. probably. Are we going somewhere with beer? or Port?
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I don't do anything instant. Try Lapsang Souchang or Lychee Red
Chocolate or Vanilla: Mmmmm. Anything Bryers. Or CUSTARD! move to WI, eat custard
Cappuccino or Coffee: dark, bitter coffee with a dash of cream and sugar
Do you Smoke: Pipe, sometimes. Cigar or Cloves, occasionally
Do you Swear: Farging bastich
Do you Sing: as often as possible
Do you Shower Daily: Who's Daily? I swear, I never touched her (I prefer baths, anyway)
Have you Been in Love: can we not talk about that right now?
Do you want to go to College: Back to college, yes, and stay there.
Do you want to get Married: Been there. Again? depends on her...
Do you belive in yourself: Yes. I am quite real. I know because I knock things over all the time.
Do you get Motion Sickness: Never. But I do get eMotion sickness
Do you think you are Attractive: yes. I attract all kinds of things. Unfortunately, most are not women.
Are you a Health Freak: I am independently freaky. No one thing is worth harnessing my freakosity to.
Do you get along with your Parents: Yes, but one is dead, so the conversations are one sided (he won't shut up).
Do you like Thunderstorms: YES! They're up there with orgasms, tawny port, and C. S. Lewis novels: those four are not necessarily related, unless it's a really good night.
Do you play an Instrument: Trumpet. Working slowly on guitar, bass, and theremin.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Heh. Um, yeah.
In the past month have you Smoked: Pipe. Some cloves.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: No
In the past month have you gone on a Date: yes, but the Fig was jealous, so I got back off
&..39;In the past month have you gone to a Mall:' Only for research for my job
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: yes, and the cardboard tasted much better than the actual cookies
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yes, yes, yes
In the past month have you been on Stage: Sort of
In the past month have you been Dumped: again, is this really a necessary conversation topic? Here's a bucket of salt, so you can pour it all on my wounds. Yeesh.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Does anyone really do this, or is it just for inclusion in online profiles?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No
Ever been Drunk: Heh. Um, yeah.
Ever been called a Tease: I'm far too earnest and horney to be a tease
Ever been Beaten up: No
Ever Shoplifted: Yes
How do you want to Die: Eaten by a lion. Or in my sleep, peacefully, at home, surrounded by my family, while being eaten by a lion.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: If you've grown up, you've given up.
What country would you most like to Visit: United Kingdom (that keeps me from having to choose Scottland or England)
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Green
Favourite Hair Color: Brunette or Black
Short or Long Hair: Loooonnnnggg
Height: irrelevent
Weight: Proportional to height (not boney-skinny, not obese)
Best Clothing Style: one that suits your style, personality, and body type
Number of Drugs I have taken: "drugs" is a really vague term.
Number of CDs I own: does anyone ever not say "lots?"
Number of Piercings: none
Number of Tattoos: none, until I find something worth permanantly imprinting on my skin
Number of things in my Past I Regret: There are no things in my past I regret. Activities, on the other hand...
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
What do I think is funny? Well, apparently I am:..TR> the Wit
(61% dark, 15% spontaneous, 26% vulgar)
your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK
You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.
I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.
Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.
You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm
talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/ .
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais
