About Me
I am a lizard. Now you might see me in a human form however this is only a trick of the eyes and a sly manipulation on my behalf. In realities, that which you chose to disregard and hide away under layers and layers of fantasy, need, and fear, I am merely a green lizard. Not any sort of special lizard, I don't have paralyzing saliva like that of the Komodo dragon, I don't have the spontaneity of the Jesus Lizard, or the cuteness and adorable characteristics that made the Gecko so popular. I am an amphibious nuisance that falls in the family of salamanders, better known as: Ambystoma macrodactylum, Ambystoma tigrinum, Dicamptodon aterrimus, Plethodon idahoensis, or Taricha granulosa--in fact we're not lizards at all but closer to toads & frogs. If you shake hands with me, you'll understand, all salamanders have soft, moist skin. My revealing this information about myself, I hope that a few of you will be curious enough to research further and educate the rest of the public on amphibians and how we are far from snakes, and especially persuasive serpents. Myths and folklore will have you believe that salamanders live in fire and are part of the fowl associated with the devil. Completely wrong! We are neutral creatures that prefer long soaks in water over conflict, similar to America before the sinking of the Lusitania in 1915. Furthermore, I conclude, I hope to fit in with the human race: Homo sapiens. You're a joyful bunch and have taught me much about dance, music, board games, expensive dining, booty calls, fighting the man, communism and the still existing iron curtain, overcoming one's phobia of kittens, apertures and f-stops, robot maintenance, hygiene, coffee cake, stopping to smell the roses, beauty, and the all too powerful hypnotic spell called LOVE. THANKS FOR YOUR MANY LESSONS AND PATIENCE.
