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About Me

Some sort of guitarist, some sort of man who writes. I built the house you live in, haphazardly and incompetently. Your rafters are made of nimble bread. Your chair sits on a foundation of giros, comedians, guitar strings and damned horrendous lies. I make a habit of adopting a stance that says: I am in command of my legs. I know where they are and the capabilities at their disposal. I could have just as easily said the same thing revolving around some kind of penis motif, making a joke about ordinance, but opted not to.

My Blog

Ah, a Firefox update...

Firefox updates are usually reliably non-bullshity, as opposed to any sort of Microsoft update which require that you restart your computer 47 times, then go away and bathe your motherboard in mercury...
Posted by on Sat, 05 Apr 2008 04:41:00 GMT

Grabs brush, dips in tar. Over everyone’s face.

Is it just me or are self-described Libertarians invariably self-absorbed cunts?
Posted by on Sat, 05 Apr 2008 04:40:00 GMT

A flock of terrible bastards at 10’o’clock.

When was it exactly that Bombheads turned into minimalist cybergoths? Decked out in jet black space age material, daubed in strange symbols and eye-catching shevrons. I miss the old Lacoste green/silv...
Posted by on Sat, 05 Apr 2008 04:39:00 GMT

An idea and a picture.

In lieu of any sort of make money loads in about a week scheme, I’ve decided to go into business until I get back inside the safe walls of the Leonard Cohen Library of Liverpool University, wher...
Posted by on Sat, 05 Apr 2008 04:37:00 GMT

300: A Scouse Reimagining

Having recently watched the superb 300, marvelling at the fantastic environments, choreography and ripped to the tits greased up physiques of the 300 Spartan warriors, I got so pumped up that I did 17...
Posted by on Sun, 08 Apr 2007 16:01:00 GMT

Seasons related greetings.

Happy Christmas!You Fat Handed Twat.
Posted by on Mon, 25 Dec 2006 01:45:00 GMT

Tis the season of minor holidays for children and students I don't care about.

So I'm settling down to a mid-evening snooze. Chelsea have just been beaten, which is awesome, I've had some quality sandwiches, smoked some ciggarettes, drank several litres of tea, and that's me don...
Posted by on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 06:54:00 GMT

Suffering is at an end, the bus is here.

So I'm waiting at the bus stop when some rather cheerful light of the Earth woman accosts me.'Would you like something to read while you're waiting?'Actually that'd be nice, thanks.And so I recieve a ...
Posted by on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 06:54:00 GMT

What the fuck are truffles?

I thought they were a kind of really nice chocolates, but apparently they're also these extremely expensive and grotesque looking clumps of fungal shit found under trees.Who stumbled upon these wretch...
Posted by on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 06:53:00 GMT

THE VEIL

There's something I've been meaning to say. For weeks now the papers have been awash with pictures of women with shifty eyes dressed in black sheets. The question is whether they should be removing th...
Posted by on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 06:52:00 GMT