Dear loyal Hans Gruber fans,
This myspace page was started to generate interest in the Indie band Hans Gruber, but I'm afraid we haven't been totally honest with you.
Here is the whole story.
Back in the spring of 1998, when shows like The Simpsons, South Park, King of the Hill and Neptune: Invincible Hero of the Sea were at the height of popularity we, through a good friend were able to attend a prestigious London TV convention. During the day we filled our hot bodies with enough free booze and complementary tortilla chips to give us the confidence to pitch our ideas to a host of demented, alcoholic and cocaine-addled TV programming executives. Eventually a lovely young naive mousy girl, then in the employment of ITV, became so enthralled by our idea for a late night cartoon show starring a group of amoral, careerist wannabe rock stars that she invited us to ITV's offices to sign a pilot deal for £40,000 the following day.
Problems arose when we realised that not only had we managed to swindle a TV company out of an obscene amount of cash, but also that we had never made a cartoon before in our lives and had virtually no talent in the field of animation, except for a brief flirtation on an Amiga A1200 in the summer holidays of our youth.
We had six months to come up with the finished product; luckily we had lied about our phone number so we couldn't be contacted.
The first three months were spent in our local Hogshead pub frantically scribbling ideas on the back of napkins and inventing cocktails that almost always involved tequila and lager. The evenings were spent stoned as druids screaming at each other, totally paranoid that at some point our ruse would be uncovered, or that one of us would sell the other out for a better deal.
Once the money was gone, we panicked and frantically tried to come up with something... anything. Using a "borrowed" computer and a "completely legit" copy of Macromedia Flash we managed to bungle together twenty minutes of original material. Using VJ Naughty Bishop's new found skills as an animator and DJ Sportsfag's uncanny ability to not only write the most "banging" house music you've ever heard, but also his God given talent for writing very, very bad Indie music, THE REALLY BAD INDIE BAND sounded bad, and looked even worse.
The show was immediately shelved after we premiered it to our executive producer. We feel this was due to the backward nature of those at "the top" at the time, and nothing to do with VJ Naughty Bishop's brief affair with the director's wife and her lesbian lover (and their subsequent disappearance). Our careers ruined, we took jobs at the Randstad Employment Bureau.
In 2005 we managed to secure the rights to the original pilot, which we bought back for £156.47 on the one condition that we never correspond with ITV again, on any account whatsoever. It was on viewing the pilot once again that we decided to finish the originally conceived six-part series and distribute it across the Internet.
So, here we are back at square one. The show is completely uncensored and in its original edit. We apologise for the poor quality of the pilot, the S-VHS from ITV was very old and it was quite clear that it hadn't been taken care of.
Please watch our pride and joy and send your comments and suggestsions to
[email protected]
If you want to be added to our mailing list, please send an email to
[email protected] with the word "subscribe" in the subject line.
Check the Blog for links to available episodes.
With much love,
DJ Sportsfag and VJ Naughty Bishop
XXX
