1. When you are sad - I will help get you drunk and plot revenge
against
the sorry bastard who made you sad.2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be and to quit whining.6. When you are confused - I will use little words.7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well
again. I don't want whatever you have.8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.I love my friends
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