xtfr catastrophe profile picture

xtfr catastrophe

an eye for an eye, arm, and a leg.

About Me

This is your life, and it is ending one minute at a time. This isn't a seminar. This isn't a weekend retreat. Where you are now, you can't even imagine what the bottom will be like. Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. Nothing is static. Everything is involved. Everything is falling apart. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We are all a part of the same compost heap. We are the all-singing, all-dancing, crap of the world. You are not your bank account. You are not the clothes you wear. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your bowel cancer. You are not your Grande Latte. You are not the car you drive. You are not your fucking khakis. You have to give up. You have to give up. You have to realize that someday you will die. Until you know that, you are useless. I say, let me never be complete. I say, let me never be content. I say, deliver me from swedish furniture. I say, deliver me from clever art. I say, deliver me from clear skin and perfect teeth. I say, you have to give up. I say, Evolve, and let the chips fall where they may. x†ƒ® ç@†å$t®ø?h£ . *When beauty is abstracted Then ugliness has been implied; When good is abstracted Then evil has been implied.So alive and dead are abstracted from nature, Difficult and easy abstracted from progress, Long and short abstracted from contrast, High and low abstracted from depth, Song and speech abstracted from melody, After and before abstracted from sequence.The sage experiences without abstraction, And accomplishes without action; He accepts the ebb and flow of things, Nurtures them, but does not own them, And lives, but does not dwell.* i am the sweetest catastrophe you'll ever meetand i'm the kind of human wreckage that you love

My Interests

friends, woods, beach, music, exciting adventures, artcrime, how the laws of physics apply to a gravity bong, magic hat

adopt your own virtual pet! Knowing others is wisdom; Knowing the self is enlightenment. Mastering others requires force; Mastering the self requires strength; He who knows he has enough is rich. Perseverance is a sign of will power. He who stays where he is endures. To die but not to perish is to be eternally chris ofiesh

I'd like to meet:

you, and carl bratananadalewski. people who don't always end up scum. and people who don't need a scapegoat for all of their fucked up problems. and maybe, for once, someone who won't ever fuckin die on me.

Music:

HATEBREED, gorillaz, the postal service, flogging molly, cryptopsy, dropkick murphys, the dead kennedys, mindless self indulgence, tchaikovsky, from autumn to ashes, rob zombie, pink floyd, primus, grateful dead, RATM, sublime, requiem soundtrack, creedence, jefferson airplane, the doors, the beatles, john lennon, the allman bros., led zeppelin, tool, jimi, nirvana, wallflowers, the ramones, the clash, dimmu borgir, cryptopsy, dysrythmia, at the gates, as i lay dying, celtic frost, opeth

Movies:

dark crystal, labyrinth, willow, legend, se7en, the day after trinity, interview with a vampire, party monster, stigmata, dagon, memento, requiem for a dream, spun, traffic, fear and loathing in las vegas, where the buffalo roam, kalifornia, summer of sam, from hell, the blues brothers, silence of the lambs, red dragon, hannibal, amelie, cowboy bebop, kidz, natural born k's, house of a 1000 corpses (hell yeah), LOTR, pulp fiction, hellboy, the pianist, casino, eraserhead, blue velvet, puff the magic dragon, clockwork orange, fullmetal jacket, my neighbor tottorro, fight club, donnie darko, sin city, pirates of the carribean, a christmas story, the hobbit, secret of NIMH,the boondock motherfuckin' saints, dogma, jay and silent bob strike back, mallrats, clerks, the secret of roan innish,SLC punk, american history x, bill & ted's excellent adventure, the departed, v for vendetta

Television:

rots your brain.....aqua teen, south park, simpsons

Books:

the dream-quest of unknown kadath, the wheel of time series, flowers for algernon, the book of thoth, 777, siddharta, the art of war, anything lovecraft, good faeries/bad faeries, angela's ashes, 1984, complete works of edgar allan poe, howl, mrs frisby and the rats of nimh, the giver, great expectations, the bhagavad gita, anything ra salvatore, animal farm, helter skelter, the serial killers bible, exquisite corpse, on death and dying, the kama sutra, tiki tiki tembo, His Dark Materials trilogy, crime & punishment, anything by Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, fast food nation, american gods, the communist manifesto, Candide, hiroshima, why i am not a christian,

Heroes:

people who stand up for what they believe in............................good hearted people......................................bad hearted people who want to be good....................................people who don't give up....................................and my mom............................. "If i ever leave this world alive, i'll come back down and sit beside your feet tonight. Wherever i am, you'll always be, more than just a memory, if i Ever leave this World, Alive."

My Blog

221

i think sometimesthat memories are like the twinkling lightof starsbright shining pinpointsof purest whitefilling the night skyor are like the dying light of starslong dead or blackening holesof the d...
Posted by xtfr catastrophe on Thu, 02 Aug 2007 12:29:00 PST

no subject

like a recurring nightmarehaunting my dreamsseething pain disguisedas a lover may seemtearing each thread of sanity slowly i waste wanton and thinremembering the taste of your lips on mine the lies i'...
Posted by xtfr catastrophe on Mon, 05 Mar 2007 12:49:00 PST

diamond

untitledyou were given a diamondrare and beautiful, uncutpristineto shape and moldbut instead cracked to know inside the glow has diedyou were given a diamondcracked but workable, still goodenough to ...
Posted by xtfr catastrophe on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 03:56:00 PST

rehab

The dope is gone, and so are youLooking back, I hope I threwyou both hard enough away thatyou are gone for good.I won't look back or look you upAnd like that needle I took upWe both fucked up way wayw...
Posted by xtfr catastrophe on Wed, 13 Dec 2006 08:44:00 PST

newester poems

_(oc)_Pleased to make your aqquaintance,have I seen you here before?You have such a beautiful Way,and now I know you, Need you more.I'm sorry, I can't remember your name,surely I know it, I can't be s...
Posted by xtfr catastrophe on Wed, 13 Dec 2006 08:34:00 PST

newest poem

A flash of silver on a bronze plainlitten with yellow grass and furrowsfrom farming attempts of yoreA glowing red river bubbles up to seepfrom it's natural bedBlazing comets match their massesagainst ...
Posted by xtfr catastrophe on Tue, 14 Nov 2006 12:04:00 PST

cigarette

a cigarettefirst drag the crestbut only slightly lessfulfilling, subsequent drags presstar and cancer drilling deathdeep in tissues of chestlight? ultra? neither bestbut both pass on the testthat ends...
Posted by xtfr catastrophe on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 01:15:00 PST

a new old pain

It's rising againthis morning's bitter reminderof last night's weaknessIt's calling againand it's calling from close byclose enough to touchIt's winning againonly so long until i embracewhat i love to...
Posted by xtfr catastrophe on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 01:10:00 PST

Hari-Kari with a...?

I think that it is high time for me to be moving along now.
Posted by xtfr catastrophe on Fri, 13 Oct 2006 10:06:00 PST

i just realized...

"There is no work that affects Me; nor do I aspire for the fruits of action. One who understands this truth about Me also does not become entangled in the fruitive reactions of work."
Posted by xtfr catastrophe on Mon, 14 Aug 2006 05:09:00 PST