Ima Kilya

To those who are offended by me:The following is a short expression of thanks.First, I must say that you are absolute dear-hearts for reading my extensive Hate List (which is growing by the day, I might add). Even as a writer I am still amazed that people are so touched by my words. The more furious I make people, the more contented I become. Not every person can raise such emotion from others. I am very proud of my accomplishment. Your hate mail is important to me. I enjoy it---value it. If interesting, I will even read certain letters twice.This is not a lame attempt to be sarcastic. This is an honest declaration of gratitude. If you enjoy my opinions--even perhaps share them---I thank you too. You have not failed to see the humor laced into my words.And once again to those who find fault in me--- Your insults may as well be praise. It is one thing to be hated--and quite another to be ignored. You have proven to me that I am not the latter. Kisses to you, darlings… MY HATE LIST:I absolutely ABHOR the following types of people. I hope that they all die slow, painful deaths and--AND--are disinterred from their meaningless graves and raped savagely by hobos until they disintegrate into a puddle of putrefaction.I hate:Weepy, overzealous ChristiansFeminists who hate men.The elderly (being old doesn’t give one the right to smell and act rudely).RadicalsChauvinists Gays and Lesbians who feel that their entire being is defined by their sexuality. HomophobesSports fans Ross : PThose who thank “God” for surviving surgery. If it were up to “GOD”, that brain tumor would have KILLED you. He’s the one who put it there. Thank the doctors.RepublicansDemocratsRowdy punk rockers Pugnacious gangstersGirls who cut themselvesGuys who cut themselvesGirls who lie about being raped to gain pity from their small-minded friends and small-penis boyfriends.Girls who pretend to be lesbians to impress the “three-legged” Girls who claim that their boyfriends "beat" them. *You deserve to really get your asses kicked you over-emotional, lying BITCHES. I hope you all get pushed down the fucking stairs!*Pregnant women. NO, you're not special. I once saw a dog shit out some puppies. It was gross and so are you.Girls who are obsessed with their boyfriends.(UM, hun...he CHEATS on you. Get fucking over it. Girls who think it's "cute" to watch cartoons. Fuck Invader Zim. FUCK HIM. I hope that stupid bastard gets raped in his little green ass by his stupid-ass robot dog. GIRLS IN GENERAL. Every stupid whore on that HBO show, "Cathouse." Women who dress like their daughters Soccer momsPseudo-intellectual, twatty females.People who hate New Yorkers. We're better--just get over it.Uber Goths Uber Goths who brag about drawing their eyebrows on perfectly. *UM...go read a book. OK, THANKS.*Goth people in general. Go REALLY make a fashion statement and DIE. Frickin' Count Chocula bastids'. People who wear "Tripp" pants. UM--if you're too much of a hick to have no other store but "Hot Topic" around--get yourself an Ebay account. ICPStupid people who attempt to feign intelligence. *Don't claim to hate those who misuse grammar when you can't even SPELL the WORD "grammAR."People who say that they have "spoken" with God. If God existed, he wouldn't talk to HICKS. Men who date young girls because they're too insecure to date women their own age. (It usually has something to do with a small penis/crappy job).Musicians who have the arrogance of "rock stars" while still working minimum-wage jobs. *You'll be playing gigs at children's Halloween parties until you're fucking 40 you assholes.*Celebrities who give money to bullshit charities to exhibit their phony-ass largesse.Skinny women who claim not to need or want tits (fucking liars).Big-breasted women who complain about having tits (fucking liars).The midwest. Um. I know it's not a person--but a meteor should seriously land on that pointless section of the country. People who use "big words" without even knowing what they mean. *It makes you look DUMBER.* People who use race as a main source of their pride. Go accomplish something you stupid fuckers--then BRAG.Graffiti artists. (No matter how many marks you leave on that wall, you’re still going to DIE without being remembered).Rappers and their stupid “bling bling.” If you wear a solid-gold, diamond-studded crucifix around your neck-- you’re more of a Satanist than I am.SATANISTS. Most are the dumbest jerks I’ve EVER met. If Satan met you--he’d hate you too.American girls who pretend to be English.People who work/shop at Hot TopicFast Food junkiesWomen who think the “vagina” is beautiful. UM--it looks like a grinning GARGOYLE that was mangled in a car accident.Women who pretend to love giving head. We all know you gag. Those fucking jerky assholes who have orange tans, spikey bleached hair, and speed around in Supras.*Your car's not THAT important. You must have a real bird-brain to be impressed by big shiney objects.* Artists who feel that a splattering of red and blue paint on a buckled canvas is GENIUS.People who uphold modern, American literature. It just makes us all look so illiterate.People who say, “I totally HEART such-and-such.”Ben Affleck (sp?)People who think Paris Hilton is “cute.”People who say, “Just do it.”Big Foot and the hicks who worship him.People who vote for the next “American Idol.”Most of the people living in UTAHThe NSAFalse patriots. It’s funny. Before the World Trade Center was hit by planes, people didn’t brandish the ole’ Stars and Stripes and sport bumper stickers reading: “These colors don’t run.” NO, you’re right--these colors DON’T RUN; these colors FADE. They’ll stick clever sayings to their bumpers but only 55% of them will vote in presidential elections.People who say that all illegal Hispanics should be shipped back to their countries--then pay a Mexicana 2 bucks an hour to be their nanny.Those who enforce censorship. Maybe I WANT my kids to curse as much as I do.--And thanks to the vulgarity of "Jerry Springer," I won't have to explain the mechanics of sexual reproduction in one of those awkward little "chats."People who say, “Children are our most precious resource.” Oh yeah? Can we grind them up and fill our gas tanks with them?CHILDREN. They should all be locked in boxes until the age of 18--then smacked repeatedly with a wire hanger.People who think they’re so god-damned IMPORTANT.No one CARES. Fuck YOU. Look at the stars and realize that you’re a streak of shit on the underwear of the universe--nothing more.
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