Jerry Now and Always!

Being organized is important to me. My room is messy. Air guitar is cool as hell. I like chimpanzees. If a movie has a chimp in it is twice as good. Orangutans are cool also. I like to perform air guitar to my favorite bands when I go to see them. I sing along to songs that I dont know the words to. I like to have a different hair cut or facial hair every time you see me. I like to use big words quite often in substitution for semantically equivalent words. Canadians I think are from another world. I am mesmerized by Canadians. I believe I am a failed twelve step program. Humor is second only to music. Well except while listening to music, then music is second to humor or something like that. I have the timing and precision of a car wreck. Im only partially clear to everyone, but myself. Everyone along the roadside just wants to see a saint. The serenity of sirens, the allure of the femme fatale. Most of my very close friends are learning something new about me right now. I like to read the lyrics to my favorite bands new song the first time I hear it. I think Captain Morgan is a piece of shit, and spiced Rum is for Faux Pirates. I like to collect things that make no sense to collect. This is almost the most I have written with thought in at least five years. Peoples perception of me goes in this order, shy, weird, overwhelming, and awesome. I know people that think of me as their hero or role model, and I dont understand this. Im afraid of snakes. I have bad dreams with them all the time. The color purple spellbinds me. Ive had dreams with purple in them since I was old enough to remember. I like to yell my own name. The coolest thing to stare at is not 3D paintings, it is fire. I dont know how to spell at all. There is a bottomless pool of raw talent and creativity in my mind, but I cant tame it. You should believe when the apocalypse comes having a beard will be a free ticket. Jagermeister does taste funny, and I love it that way. Girls with lisps make me hott. My chair is uncomfortable. When Im the only one laughing at a movie I laugh louder. I like those minimal Muffin Tops. Also I watch lots of movies. I like all kinds except ones that make me want to leave the lights on at night. I make DVDs for my friends in Iraq with areolas and music on them. I like to use big words quite often in substitution for semantically equivalent words. I like to do unexpected things even to those that have known me the longest. Even though I was taught the world is round, I have only experienced a flat one. Peoples perception of me goes in this order, shy, weird, overwhelming, and awesome. Arnold is the best thing to happen to politics since the last dude from Predator became a governor.I am influenced by barley, hops, yeast, water, and heavy metal! That's why I'm eagerly fleeing the scene. Lead footed all the way to Las Vegas baby. Return the favor and leave somebody you love. If they follow they're drunk and they're lonely. We all need change. God forbid we indulge when at sea. But this sea may be permanent to me. Just know the tempest, the temptress and me. I'm handing myself over. I'm turning myself in! The alcoholic is the last true hopeless romantic. - Keith Buckley