21 years have flown by, where the time went I don't know. I look back at my career and although I remember details vividly, I can't seem to tell how they all merged so quickly and turned into 21 years. I've realized my childhood dream at least, the best job in the entire world. I know that life takes us to places we never realized existed, but life was good to me, and took me to the NYPD. I won't go into details, there are too many to recall, but all I will say is it was more than I ever could have imagined. It's been one heck of a ride, at times me hanging on by my fingertips, but in the end, when the thought of retirement fills my mind in the dark of night, I look back and smile mostly at the memories. I have been blessed in life, not just my job but my entire life and I am greatful for it. I have toyed with what retirement would be like, and I as I've said am torn. I'd be giving up what I love most but perhaps new doors will open and a new dream will be realized. As of this writing not that any one cares, I don't want to go, although i feel pressured by every one to do so. But if I have my way right now, I'll live another day where I'll be standing in the middle of a crime scene searching for clues and making the arrest in the end. Cops don't retire. They can't, because cops were born cops, and you can't retire from life.