THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!
NAME: Joey
LIFE AMBITION: I don't want to achieve immortalitly through mywork, I want to achieve it through not dying.
MOST DIFFICULT MOMENT: Probably the toughest time in anyone's lifeis when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.
DISLIKES: You know what I hate? Indian givers. No, wait! I takethat back.
BIGGEST WEAKNESS: I can resist ANYTHING except temptation.
BEST SKILL: I'm a great lover, I'll bet.
CRAZY PAST: I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into analleyway and lost him.
HOBBIES & INTERESTS: Visiting family in Rome; hanging out with mybuddys Eric, and Jake, Emily, and all the great people at CCV;plucking chickens; clipping old women's toe nails; destroying small countries(need help with thebig ones); beating up senior citizens; decapitating roosters; drawing on myself with permanentmarkers; finding random things to stick my head in; eating things I probably shouldn't; going fromstool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky,(but there's never gum under any of them!!!);going down to the school yard watching all the little children jump up and down and running aroundyelling and screaming,(they don't know I'm only using blanks); going to the movies.
EMBARASSING MOMENT: A computer once beat me at chess, but it was nomatch for me at kick boxing. Later that day I went to my psychiatrist and told him that everyonehates me. He said I was being ridiculous,everyone hasn't met me yet.
GENERAL QUESTION: How many people here have telekenetic powers?Raise my hand.
GOOD DEED FOR THE WEEK: I was walking down fifth avenue today and Ifound a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost ahundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.
OCCUPATION: I kill vampires. During the day when the vampires aresleeping I run a lemonade stand for all the thirsty people in the neighborhood. I used to give thefirst glass away free, and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained theantidote.
REASONS TO BE GRATEFUL: I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't standbeing rejected by men as well as women.
LAST WORDS: I love you, but I must eat you-(to the people of thecountry I destroy).
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Your Brain is 100.00% Male, 0.00% Female
You've got the brain of a manly manFeelings, schmeelings... tears aren't for you.You could break both legs and not get misty eyed.One mega-problem: you don't understand women. To you, women are truely from Venus and speak a language that is basically incomprensible to you, unless translated by another guy. You hang out mostly with other men, and seldom if ever, women outside of work or school. What Gender Is Your Brain?
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Joey
Birthday: May 14, 1980
Birthplace: Youngstown, Ohio
Current Location: A Bavarian Nudist Colony
Eye Color: Big Black Glasses
Hair Color: dark brown, almost black
Height: 6
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: Martian
The Shoes You Wore Today: 6 inch pink stilettos
Your Weakness: my health
Your Fears: Vegan Buddist Munks, and dandelions
Your Perfect Pizza: pepperoni
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Officially take over Botswana
Your Most Overused Word On an instant messenger: Antidisestablishmentarianism
First Thoughts Waking Up: Today, Botswana will fall
Your Best Physical Feature: I got pretty cool bone marrow
Your Bedtime: i try to go to bed early cause i have classes at 7:30am, but I'm still usually up at least past midnight
Your Most Missed Memory: I don’t remember anything from when I was first born, except for the bright lights and being held upside down and being slapped hard on my butt. Also, I remember thinking the doctor had a funny mustache, and when I grew up I would never have a mustache like that.
Pepsi or Coke: i don't like either, but coke is better. i like dr. pepper
MacDonalds or Burger King: burger king, but mac donalds fries are the best in the world!
Single or Group Dates: single (they are easier to spy on)
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: capuccino
Do you Smoke: never!!! I'm probably one of the biggest anti-tobacco nazis on the face of the earth
Do you Swear: no, but i used to a lot in high school.
Do you Sing: :) God gave me a voice that was made for Him and Him alone to enjoy...if anyone else hears me sing, it causes them intense pain and could even lead to deafness
Do you Shower Daily: usually yeah
Have you Been in Love: yeah
Do you want to go to College: I graduated already
Do you want to get Married: yes
Do you belive in yourself: I usually only try things I know I can do, I'm not much of a risk taker
Do you get Motion Sickness: yeah, pretty bad actually
Do you think you are Attractive: like a train wreck
Are you a Health Freak: not really
Do you get along with your Parents: my mom
Do you like Thunderstorms: no. i had lots of them where i grew up.
Do you play an Instrument: no way dude. I'm even worse with instruments than I am with singing!
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: no
In the past month have you Smoked: absolutely not
In the past month have you been on Drugs: never
In the past month have you gone on a Date: yeah
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yeah
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nope. never have. i like them, but a whole box is a bit much!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yeah
In the past month have you been on Stage: yes
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: yeah, back when i first got sick i had a real drinking problem.
Ever been called a Tease: lol...actually yes, i have
Ever been Beaten up: yeah
Ever Shoplifted: tragically yes. back in my days before I had any clue who Jesus was
How do you want to Die: In my sleep suddenly. I don't want to gradually rot, just one night, pass away in my sleep
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I'm a Young Adults/College Pastor now which has been my dream job for a long time
What country would you most like to Visit: Israel
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: blue
Favourite Hair Color: brown
Short or Long Hair: LONG!!!
Height: i don't really care
Weight: i don't care
Best Clothing Style: skirts and dresses all the way!!! I'm not a fan of pants on girls. I don't think they look bad or anything. It's just that I think women, any women, look so beautiful in skirts and dresses, that by comparison, pants end up looking really bad
Number of Drugs I have taken: 0
Number of CDs I own: I'm not sure. But a fair amount
Number of Piercings: none
Number of things in my Past I Regret: a lot. actually most(but not all) of the things I've done before I came to know the Lord, many things I've done after, and also a lot of things that people have done to me.
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The CCV Dream Team: Joey and Rachel Collins!
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