interwebbly blogtastic online portfolio. |
Just another place to store links to all of my published works, for your eyeballs to enjoy. This version is commentable!schlemiel! schlemazl! - a day at the bell's brewery - 06/05/07 - real detroit w...
Posted by jonathan a. berz on Wed, 14 Mar 2007 07:06:00 PST |
i have no sympathy for the working class. |
today, in my composition class, the asian kid seated next to me farted. this was no subtle fart, neither do i think it was an accident. this fart came from the depths of his bowels and burst forth wit...
Posted by jonathan a. berz on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 02:51:00 PST |
a dilemma i recently encountered. |
you are standing at the entrance of a cave. there are bears chasing you, because they smell the jellybeans in your pocket. you are armed only with a swiss army knife, one of those little tiny keychain...
Posted by jonathan a. berz on Fri, 03 Mar 2006 01:20:00 PST |
i just signed up for my first heart transplant. |
instead of practicing yesterday, we spent an hour and a half talking about the universe. we even went so far as to move the conversation into the computer room so we could look things up. they're star...
Posted by jonathan a. berz on Mon, 27 Feb 2006 09:58:00 PST |
fat-lipped in a courthouse full of skeletons. |
it does not feel like the weekend. it feels like a tuesday. i've accomplished nothing this week. i'm tired of the motions. i need to contact stella, and find out exactly how she managed to get her gro...
Posted by jonathan a. berz on Sun, 19 Feb 2006 10:36:00 PST |
the baldwins versus the wayans over who gets the last triscuit. |
i love sleeping, but i hate going to bed. i wish i could just lay in bed and read books for eight hours a night while my body could just rejuvenate itself. i won't get up. i swear. not even for a pis...
Posted by jonathan a. berz on Fri, 10 Feb 2006 03:45:00 PST |
treasure island |
i could move to california. tomorrow. right this second, if i wanted to. i could condense my belongings to fit into my little car. i could sleep in a sleeping bag for six months. a year. i don't car...
Posted by jonathan a. berz on Wed, 01 Feb 2006 04:46:00 PST |
piss and vinegar |
i think i hate writing songs. i fucking love music. i'm so fucking intimidated by how much i fucking love music. i don't know how i could ever come up with anything that could even compare with every...
Posted by jonathan a. berz on Wed, 25 Jan 2006 11:49:00 PST |
this is true. |
i fucking love the weekend, man.
Posted by jonathan a. berz on Sat, 07 Jan 2006 10:43:00 PST |
i believe i promised a 'palooza of some sort. |
well well well. it's 5:20, my plans were to come home and wrap presents all night, wake up bright and early... you know.
i'm still in my work clothes.
i've done nothing tonight.
well, i had s...
Posted by jonathan a. berz on Sat, 24 Dec 2005 02:40:00 PST |
