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mike

I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking

About Me

Fashion MySpace LayoutsWhy do people lie? That has always been one of my biggest pet peeves. It just seems ridiculous to me to lie, especially when, eventually, the truth comes out. I have heard all the drag that people use to explain why they lie about certain issues, but I do not buy any of it. I do not buy the fact that a lie is ok to protect a person's feelings, and I do not buy the whole "big lie, little lie" theory either. In my eyes, a lie is simply a lie; the size does not matter.We were playing around, but during our conversation true feelings and emotions surfaced. I could feel my own anxiety as I reflected on how many times I have been misled and hurt by someone lying to me. In the end, we all agreed that lies are extremely hurtful, even if they are not intended to be. We also agreed that lies in a relationship should not be tolerated and in some cases should be grounds for an immediate end to the relationship.I am speculating that I encounter a lie at least 20 times a day. The number is probably a little higher, but I would like to believe that for the most part, people are honest. The number increases significantly when you mix single and not so single people in a setting like a club or a bar. You see when you are trying to impress someone or get your groove on, I think you are more prone to lie to get what you want. I have had hands on experiences with men who lie about everything from the type of job they have, where they live, their marital status, right down to the type of car they drive.I try my best to judge people on their character and not on looks and material possessions. However, it is hard to act civil when you find out through someone else that a man/woman who initially told you he/she was a teacher at a school actually turns out to be the janitor. How are you supposed to respond to someone who is constantly making up the lamest excuses for everything? Are you supposed to be forgiving? I do not think so because if you lie about the small, insignificant things in life, it is likely that you will lie about serious matters as well.Honesty is the key to any relationship. If you do not trust your partner then the relationship will not last. Even if you are out to just have a good time, you should let the other person decide whether he/she want to be in that type of situation. I know that seems unrealistic to you players out there because lies and deceit are all a part of the game. I just personally would respect someone more if that person said, "Hey, I don't want a relationship, I just want to have fun" versus someone who lies about their intentions and then leaves when things start heating up. I'm not going to say that I'm an angel either; I have lied about things that I shouldn't have, and I also suffered the consequences for my actions ten times over. This is why I try to be as honest and up front as possible with the people I date.I do not want any one to think that I believe that only men lie either; that is simply not true, by any means. Women lie as much as men and there are some women who are not willing to lose their player status by being honest. I just think it is pointless and actually more trouble than it is worth because, as we all know, one lie usually leads to another and another. Stories eventually become jumbled up and after a while, even the person who initiated the lie does not know what the truth is any more.I think the key to happiness is being honest with yourself and others. I do not know many people who would fault a person for being up front and letting them get to know the real you. If the real you doesn't please that person, then do what I do: walk away because there is someone out there that will want you for you. Do not lie and deceive people to try to make them like you, and definitely do not lie in an attempt to take advantage of another person. Believe me when I say, you reap what you sow; so don't put all that bad karma out there and think that it won't come back to you. It will come back, and its return will likely be when you have finally decided to be honest and commit yourself to a relationship. In other words, "Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you."

My Interests

mspmb src="http://images.multiply.com/multiply/horizontal-headshot -badge.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width=300 height=112 wmode="transparent" FLASHVARS="user_id=shutterspeed30d&enc=U2FsdGVkX1,bqBQlG N4kWFQ,8AImoxq,MIM FIGHTING FOR JEALOUSY AND LIES!Friends will always make promises to each other. Friendship is something alot of people fall back upon when family or all else fails. We all want to spend as much time as we can with our friends because they make us feel joy. Most memorable moments or funny moments are spent with our friends. They are open to one another, share the same interests and comfortable with each others company. Yet sometimes friendship can fail. With a simple word or two a good-friendship can end in a blink of an eye. Real friendship though learns to forgive, tolerate, understand and love. But sometimes we want the attention to ourselves. Lets be frank, we all want to feel loved by our friends, but sometimes we dont always get the attention we want. Its easy to pick these people out.I can admit that sometimes I wish my own bestfriend would pay more attention to me. Why? Because shes my bestfriend and someone who I can talk about everything under the sun and moon. Im honest with her and let her know when I want the attention. Sometimes the situation does get out of hand, like im told that I am the drama queen of the friendship. Were both opposites of each other personality wise, but share some of the same interests. The point is though, I needed to learn to share. She has friends too. My life doesnt revolve around her. So I learnt to be appreciative of the things she does for me.Sometimes we never take the time to look back and see what friends have done for us. Just because theyre our friends we sometimes forget to thank them. Then we realise they have helped us without expecting any reward. Why? Because they love us. You realise the numerous moments they went out of their way to help us, or to spend time with us. We never find the time to actually say thankyou.I never thought to realise that sharing my burdens with my bestfriend would weigh her down. I didnt know until I argued about not spending any quality friendship time. I realised how selfish, ignorant, and stupid I was. It wasnt until I said something without thinking. It took only a few simple words to crack the friendship. I was confused and didnt understand what I had done wrong. She did the right thing though. We both confronted each other. I was wronged and then corrected myself. Our friendship still stands strong because of honesty and love. Communication is essential in friendships. Without it nobody would be able to understand each other. But Ive learnt that our friendship goes beyond words spoken or even hanging out with each other.Friendship within groups are always filled with jealousy. Like I stated before, we all want attention from our friends. Why is this though? Does it give you an ego-boost? Or is it because you just have the need to feel loved? Its different for each individual. Sometimes it could also be that you are in love with this person, and you just want to spend every moment with them because friendship is the only way you can stay close to them. Either way, over-jealous friends can kill a friendship.Most jealousy though occurs between two people. They both enjoy the company of one another, but sometimes that need is unbalanced. One needs the other more, but when the person they need starts to pay attention to other people or is occupied by other things, jealousy likes to make its appearance. You try anything in your power to try and get their attention. You keep reminding them to make time for you. First youre patient about it, but that patience will soon run dry. A spark will ignite and a drama is born. You turn possesive and want your life to revolve around them. You seek to destroy their friends or make their friends look bad infront of them, making yourself look like the angel of the friendship. No, its not meant to be that way. Our friends are human too. Theyre not a play thing that you can just take out of a toiy box and start talking/playing with.Jealousy runs itself on high around me. I get friends bothering me about not making enough time for them. Im a busy person, heck, im a workaholic, even though sometimes I may seem lazy. A jealous friend once made me crack. I ignored him for a whole month, I broke the friendship, I cut him off entirely. I didnt speak a single word even if he walked past me. It created a scene at work since we both worked next to each other. Im a stubborn person, and once I make a statement I stick to it.I spent time with other friends except for him. In actual fact I had no time to even spend time with myself. I was working everyday plus balancing it with life and my studies. I was on the edge of breaking down, and I actually hit that edge and fell. That was why I cut myself off from him. How can I be a support to anyone if I cant even support myself? The only free time I had was during my half-hour to forty five minute breaks. Most of the time I would be too tired to go out. I ended up having late-nights and early mornings, I was working two jobs and balancing them with my studies. A month later I finally was back on my feet. I started to talking to him. I apologised and asked for forgiveness. It wasnt that easy because it turned into another scene. Another jealous rampage from him. I felt hurt to listen to what he had being telling other people about me. I felt betrayal, but somehow I was able to get over it and still remain friends with him. Hes still a jealous person. He lets me know everyday the sort of un-caring friend I am. I only get enraged for a shortwhile. But sometimes this is just a call out to others to be more understanding of one another. Stop thinking about ourselves and be appreciative that your friend at least talks to you, or is worried about you when they give you the odd message.Ive made an oath to myself. If I cant find time to spend with a friend or vice versa I will atleast be here waiting for them. I will try to be there always, but I cant promise it. If you want to be a real friend, you yourself have to be strong enough to carry their burdens. Dont fall with them when theyre down, youre meant to pick them up. A friend is meant to be an encouragment, a source of joy, not a person who will assist you in your fall. Theyre there to catch you.We all have to admit it. Weve all been jealous at one stage and also been the victim of a jealous friend. Still true-friendship lies beyond jealousy. There needs to be understand, forgiveness, communication and love. How else does a friendship work? Take time to thank your friend for at least trying to be there for you.God bless & peace out

I'd like to meet:

The lie: "You deserved that promotion -- Your significant other is upset because he has just been passed over for a raise again. Your motivation for lying: You're trying to cheer him up. Why the lie could be lethal: Chances are that your partner isn't looking for your evaluation of his job performance but rather for your emotional support. By focusing on the fact that he didn't get the promotion instead of on how he's feeling, you're sending a message that you're not comfortable seeing him vulnerable and upset. "What he'll take away from your comment is that you can't stand to see him down or deal with him being depressed,"What to say instead: "I'm sorry. I know how bad you must feel."Sometimes it seems as though loving and lying go together say, when we tell our friends/partner that of course we don't mind if he skips shaving all weekend, or reassure him that the little bald spot on the top of his head makes him sexier. (Right!) Perhaps that's because when we do lie to someone we care about, it's usually with the best of intentions to soothe his insecurities or to avoid a fight. And as long as our heart is in the right place, even experts acknowledge that honesty isn't always mandatory. "You don't have to tell the whole truth if it will hurt your partner or if it's something he can't change,"Still, not all lies are harmless even little white ones and some untruths can unravel a relationship by eroding intimacy and trust. The worst kind of lie: The one that stems from a desire to make ourselves into someone we're not, or one that enables us to gloss over serious problems in a relationship. How to tell the difference? Next, five lies that can undermine your love and five that may actually strengthen it.

Music:

P. Diddy - Last Nightfeat. Keyshia Cole[Diddy:] Last night, I couldn't even get an answer. Tried to call, But my pride wouldn't let me dial. And I'm sitting here, With this blank expression. And the way I feel, I wanna curl up like a child.I know you can hear me I know you can feel me I can't live without you God please make me better I wish I wasn't the way I am[Keyshia:] If I told you once, I told you twice, You can see it in my eyes. I'm all cried out, With nothing to say. You're everything I wanted to be. If you could only see, Your heart belongs to me. I love you so much, I'm yearning for your touch. Come and set me free, Forever yours I'll be, Baby won't you come and take this pain awayyyyy.[Diddy:] Last night, I couldn't even get an answer. Tried to call, But my pride wouldn't let me dial. And I'm sitting here, With this blank expression. And the way I feel, I wanna curl up like a child.[Keyshia:] I need you, And you need me. This is so plain to see, And I will never let you go and, I will always love you so. I will... If you could only see, Your heart belongs to me. I love you so much, I'm yearning for your touch. Come and set me free, Forever yours I'll be, Baby won't you come and take this pain awayyyyy.[Diddy:] Last night, I couldn't even get an answer. Tried to call, But my pride wouldn't let me dial. And I'm sitting here, With this blank expression. And the way I feel, I wanna curl up like a child.[Diddy:] Tell me the words to say, To make you come back, And work me like that. And if it matters I'll rather stay home, With you I'm never alone. Don't want to wait till you're gone, Let me be, just don't leave me.[Diddy:] Last night, I couldn't even get an answer. Tried to call, But my pride wouldn't let me dial. And I'm sitting here, With this blank expression. And the way I feel, I wanna curl up like a child.[Keyshia:] I need you, And you need me. This is so plain to see, And I will never let you go and, I will always love you so. I will... If you could only see, Your heart belongs to me. I love you so much, I'm yearning for your touch. Come and set me free, Forever yours I'll be, Baby won't you come and take my pain awayyyyy.[Diddy:] Last night, I couldn't even get an answer. Tried to call, But my pride wouldn't let me dial. And I'm sitting here, With this blank expression. And the way I feel, I wanna curl up like a child.[Keyshia:] I'm so alone I'm soooo lonelyyyyy,Why don't you pick the phone, And dial up my number, And call me a baby, I'm waiting on you.Why don't you pick the phone, And dial up my number, Just call me a baby, I'm waiting on you.[Phone dialing and ringing] [Diddy:] Hello Hey waz-up I've been tryin' to reach you all night That shit ain't funny not picking up the mutha fucking phone Better stop fucking playing with a nigga's feelings like that You know how much I love you though right? But for them couple of seconds though, When I couldn't get in touch with you. I'm ready to come over your house and shoot that mutha fucker up You better fucking not be there when I get over that house [laughing] That's really how it goes down right?

Movies:

cruel intentions

Television:

travel and living, oliver's twist - naked chef, nigella, global trekker, come dine with me, nigella, made to order, cocktail kings, mixing with the best, david rocco - dolce vita.