Hmmm...Stream of consciousness...I'm an asshole. I have an off-beat sense of humor. I'm the biggest goofball ever. I talk too much. I'm not very traditional. I don't do things because I "should". I love to tell dirty jokes. Love to watch really bad porn with friends and laugh. Perpetually irritated. Swear like a sailor. Know my way around a 426 Hemi, or most other engines for that matter. Cynical. I have several alter-egos. I travel for a living so I'm almost never home. I Enjoy being offensive. Love black tar heroin. Married in Vegas by Elvis in a pink Cadillac at the drive-thru. Me in a white beater, him in black. One twinkie cake and a 40oz toast later and I'm someone's "Old Lady". I drink, smoke, wear fur and eat red meat. I love Beer. I think Jack Daniels is best served on the rocks. I'm not easily offended. Batman is my favorite superhero (Gambit is a close second). I know a lot of dummies. I don't respond to chain comments or bulletins. Sorry, I refuse. I think people put waaay too much personal information on Myspace. Hypocritical. I won't add you as a friend if I don't know you or if you have a private profile. I managed a lingerie and adult novelty store for over four years so I've seen and heard it all. I can de-activate most thermo-nuclear devices in under five minutes. Motherhood is not an aspiration of mine. I don't think your kid is cute. I want to poke my Husband's eyes out and kick him in the shin sometimes yet I've been madly in love with him for over nine years. I'm fascinated by the people who go on Jerry Springer and Maury Povich. I am unable to edit my thoughts and opinions for other people's comfort. I specialize in awkward situations. I do my own dental work. I firmly believe that sometimes a good old fashioned ass kickin' really does resolve problems. I think God has a sense of humor. I like to fuck with tele-marketers...
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