Eugene Juan, is my name. I was given the name of my grandfather, Lolo Eugenio Juan. ("Lolo" is grandfather in tagalog.) I was very young when he passed away in the Philippines so sadly I remember almost nothing about him. I don't even remember being at the funeral with my dad or anything before that. All I do know, is what i've seen in pictures. Pictures of him carrying me as a baby. His face, that smile as he holds his grandson in his arms. Carrying me ever so gently and still so close to never let me fall. Did I really need to know anything more? I never thought so.
Okay, i'm 24 now and getting older by the second, I experienced enough to know that its a hard reality. I know how it felt to be without money, pawning off items just to buy food. I know how it feels to be on the road, going from one place to another. That uncertainty of where you'll end up next and if you'll ever move on. I know how it feels to lose someone close. That heartache in your chest after realizing that you'll never see that person ever again or even just the thought of never seeing someone again. Either way it'll still hurt. The moment you come so close to ending it all, but can't, won't, or lucked out. I've encountered disappointment and fear from life's little corners, those unannounced blind spots. But when the world starts getting dark and unclear, there is always that silver lining. All the gut busting laughter, all the beautiful smiling faces, the moments in time that last forever no matter how old you get. The lame jokes that get funnier every time you hear it, the Hi-larious one liners that no one ever really remembers correctly, the Dreamers Ave., the band practice in the car at the top of our lungs, in kareoke at the top of our lungs, under the night sky at the top of our lungs. The dancing in the middle of anywhere cause we heard music. Spice Girls, A-Teens, Aladdin's Whole New World with my pants around my ankles. The boy band singing, bed jumping, bury your friend in a bathtub full of ice, horse back riding ball busting fun. Eating at KFC because someone said NOT to eat there. Trying to remember if it was a 2 or 3 hour tour in the Gilligan's Island song. Catching fish for hours till all buckets fill up and even the coolers. Going to Taco Bell and asking..."How many tacos can i get for 20 bucks?" 3 for $1!!! Bowling till our scores improve or not. The crazy car rides, both good and bad ones. Eating soo much bacon, we each needed our own bathrooms on 2 different floors away from each other. Putting a group of people so different yet so similar and taking on the name "Screaming Lemers." Whether it was shooting squirrels with shotguns at the ranch with the band, street racing to a buffet line from half way across town against my cousin, or rolling over and completely demolishing my car on the freeway, I can't and won't forget any of it. Every regret, every smile, every experience. It is my life and God willing, there will be more to experiences as life goes on.
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