Mark - ProfilesArchive

About Me

My name is Mark. I am awesome. On a scale of 1-10 awesomeness, I'm a fuck you, I'm just better than you. I like to drink beer and eat pizza, but then again, who doesn't. I don't like being fat so I can only do so much of that. Actually, I just quit drinking beer so what you just read was true of old. I just got out of the Navy and that makes me a happy man. The Navy really, really, really, really sucked. Going to sea is fun, but shore duty sucks ass, I don't know how the Air Force does it, they never go anywhere. South Dakota doesn't count. I hate it when people bitch at me for smoking. I smoke, fuck you, get over it. I would understand if I blew the smoke right in your face but I don't, so again, fuck you. Fuck is by far my favorite word, I use it all the time, being in the Navy for eight years has given me the right to do so. You don't like it? Fuck you. I just moved back home to Arizona at the begining of Feb. I don't miss the cold in DC. I always wanted to come back home someday but now that I'm here, I want to go back to DC. Sobriety sucks, I miss doing shots of moonshine. Sounds redneck, I know, but it was a lot of fun. I just moved into a town full of Grunts, which is not very cool, yet even worse, all the locals are some dirty looking motherfuckers. You would think their mama's would have taught them something about a shower, a haircut, and a good shave. Why did I come back to the desert? I like to eat. I like to write. A lot. It's not bad if I do say so myself. I like to get laid too. A lot. There is no better time than some good 'ol fashion unprotected sex(in a commited relationship of course), but unfortunately(or fortunately) I haven't been in a relationship in some time so I invest heavily in Trojans. They all either turn out to be batshit crazy or think I'm some sort of asshole. Sometimes I like a girl so much I can't stand it, but before you know it, she forgets my name. Life sucks. Not that I get laid all of the time as some people think, I've actually been in a sort of a rut, but I hope it'll pass. Either that or get a decent girlfriend. I'm gonna be making some decent money here real soon and I'm sure that I'll find some superficial woman who'll spend all my money for me. I don't care, as long as she puts out. A lot. Scratch that, I've decided to abstain from sex for a little while. I know most of my friends wont believe it, I just need to clear my head. I don't play video games like I used to, I guess I'm getting old, but I do whoop some ass in Maddden now and again. OK, fuck this, I'm bored now.

My Interests

Making babies, getting tattooed, spending time with my friends. It's best when all this happens in the same day.

I'd like to meet:

Alyssa Milano. Wearing a smile and body chain. When she hasn't seen a man in 3 years, and we're 5 miles from civilization. Plus she's drunk. Plus I'm drunk. We also have a week off from work. That would be awesome. Otherwise I don't want to meet anyone else, unless you're a hot chick, and wanna do me.The obligatory survey:
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Mark
Birthday: June 13, 1981
Birthplace: Douglas, AZ
Current Location: Alexandria, VA
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 5'9"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right(I can do it with my left if I need to though)
Your Heritage: Dirty Mexican
The Shoes You Wore Today: Cloraphrams(sp)
Your Weakness: women
Your Fears: Not being able to have kids
Your Perfect Pizza: Whatever when I'm hammered
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Get out of the Navy and get a REAL job
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: fuck
Thoughts First Waking Up: I don't want to be a 1st Class
Your Best Physical Feature: My tounge
Your Bedtime: never before 1 a.m.
Your Most Missed Memory: My grandfathers
Pepsi or Coke: Mt. Dew(I will answer as I please)
MacDonalds or Burger King: Burger King
Single or Group Dates: Don't care as long as I get laid
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Tea is nasty
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla(not talking about anyting like candy)
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee all day everyday
Do you Smoke: Everyday
Do you Swear: I'm a sailor
Do you Sing: Yup, nobody wants to hear that shit though
Do you Shower Daily: Yeah
Have you Been in Love: Yeah, dunno if the pain was worth it sometimes
Do you want to go to College: No
Do you want to get Married: Maybe someday again, but not right now
Do you belive in yourself: I have to, nobody else will
Do you get Motion Sickness: Never
Do you think you are Attractive: Sometimes yes, sometimes no
Are you a Health Freak: Quite the opposite
Do you get along with your Parents: I don't know anymore
Do you like Thunderstorms: Not really
Do you play an Instrument: Just the one I was born with
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: I'm a sailor
In the past month have you Smoked: Every fuckin day
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: not really a date when you see 'em all the time
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: no
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: no, I need to though, good shit
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: does the bathtub count?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: I'm a sailor
Ever been called a Tease: Nope, I'm pretty easy
Ever been Beaten up: Can't say that I have
Ever Shoplifted: when I was little maybe
How do you want to Die: Without me knowing about it
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A dad
What country would you most like to Visit: Been there, done that
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Any
Favourite Hair Color: Brunette(Blondes work too I guess, haha SB)
Short or Long Hair: Long
Height: shorter than me, or not
Weight: No hippos
Best Clothing Style: naked
Number of Drugs I have taken: because of my clearance, 0
Number of CDs I own: who the fuck knows, I don't
Number of Piercings: zero
Number of Tattoos: 7
Number of things in my Past I Regret: I don't believe in regrets
This is my buddy Rick at one of his parades.

Music:

Watch this video. Not because people are jacking off, there's a deeper meaning to it.
The Sun - "Romantic Death"

All kinds from Pantera to 2Pac. I get on metal kicks that last for awhile and then I'll listen to rap I grew up on, not the new shit because it sucks. I go to concerts and shit all the time because there's always a lot of hot chicks there. I have a buddy who once got a blowjob at a concert in a port-a-potty. Fuckin disgusting.

Tool - "Parabol/Parabola"

Movies:

I could probably watch Boondock Saints everyday of my life, no shit. Of course the Godfather series, and Scarface, and Braveheart..yada, yada, yada. Does anyone really care what movies other people have watched?

Television:

This one talks about Mexicans and sex. Southpark, the Simpsons, Family Guy, Aqua Teen, the Daily Show, and the History Channel. I love watching shows like Miami Ink but I hate it at the same time because it makes me want another tat that instant.

Books:

The Dark Tower series by Stephen King. I don't need to read anything else besides any book written by Chuck Palahniuk. Whenever I go to a bookstore I always read the erotica that's in the "Relationships" section.

Heroes:

Elvis Presley and also Bill Clinton, he's the only guy I know who can get a blowjob at work without getting fired. He's the man. Also John Wayne Bobbit, it takes a big sac to have your dick cut off and then parade the damaged goods on porno.