ninja wandering star - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm pretty careful when it comes to my socks. Certain philosophers (Emilio Estevez in St. Elmoâ€™s Fire for example) have speculated as to why socks so often get lost whenever people do laundry, but- until recently- that had never happened to me. In the span of fourteen years, I never lost a single sock. But then I lost a sock in October of 2001. And then I lost another two weeks later, and then a third around Thanksgiving. And it slowly dawned on me that something was afoot. "What in the name of Andrew W.K. is going on?" I asked aloud while sorting through my freshly cleaned garments. Why were my socks suddenly disappearing like Chinese panda bears? What had changed? THE ANSWER: MR. SMOKEY It occurred to me that the only aspect of my laundering that had changed in recent weeks was my newfound affinity for petting a feline of unknown origin. Accessing the public laundry room in my apartment complex required that I briefly walk outside of my building's back door, where I consistently encountered a large gray cat I like to call "Mr. Smokey." Despite out initial differences, I struck up an amicable relationship with Mr. Smokey; when ever I saw him, I would scratch his kitty ears and his kitty tummy, much to his kitty delight....OR SO IT SEEMED. Evidence began to mount suggesting Mr. Smokey was using this weekly exchange as a diversion to steal my socks, one at a time. It's still not clear why he wanted my socks, since it had always been my assumption that kittens wanted mittens (In order to acquire pie). However, there was no other explanation for these disappearances. In fact, I have reason to believe there was a whole network of cats involved in this: Perhaps Mr. Smokey stole my attention while a second cat (or cats) pounced into my laundry basket, snaring the best available footwear and fleeing into the darkness. I'm convinced an even larger cat ("Mr. Orange") from a neighboring building was part of this conspiracy."How often have I said," asked coke-addict Sherlock Holmes in The Sign of Four, "that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?" This is true; I am nothing if not logical...Mr. Smokey must die.I got my layout at Cleanupmyspace.com

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

The intoxicating folk

My Blog

A 6 year old menace to society(as well as our sidewalks)

New face of vandalism?By Gersh KuntzmanThe Brooklyn PaperA 6-year-old Park Slope girl is facing a $300 fine from the city for doing what city kids have been doing for decades: drawing a pretty pictu...
Posted by on Mon, 22 Oct 2007 10:30:00 GMT

Under my umbrella (ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

Its just so catchy damn it...that is all....ella ella eh eh eh
Posted by on Tue, 02 Oct 2007 20:04:00 GMT

Foo Man Choo is watching Yu

August 12, 2007China Enacting a High-Tech Plan to Track PeopleBy KEITH BRADSHERSHENZHEN, China, Aug. 9 At least 20,000 police surveillance cameras are being installed along streets here in southern ...
Posted by on Thu, 16 Aug 2007 12:25:00 GMT

So you have two cows...

ECONOMIC MODEL EXPLAINED (with cows)SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The ...
Posted by on Mon, 30 Jul 2007 08:50:00 GMT

Dear (noun),

Why is Nancy Grace still on TV? Concerned, Me
Posted by on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 10:34:00 GMT

Darfur informed

Articles : Human RightsPowerful Acts: An interview with Mia FarrowWed, 11 Jul 2007 03:42:31 -0500_NEWS IMAGE_ Witness To see Mia Farrow's photographs from Darfur, Chad, and the Central African Republi...
Posted by on Thu, 12 Jul 2007 12:44:00 GMT

Upchuck

So after attending my first ever book signing (WOOO!!!) yesterday, I realized how low my tolerance for "celebrity" is. Not every celebrity obviously. For example, I could see myself not being able to ...
Posted by on Tue, 10 Jul 2007 10:12:00 GMT

Nothing is Ideal

You scored as Idealist, Idealism centers around the belief that we are moving towards something greater. An odd mix of evolutionist and spiritualist, you see the divine within ourselves, waiting to em...
Posted by on Thu, 28 Jun 2007 12:54:00 GMT

I think I'm dumb...

...or maybe just happy " I had a good uncle named Alex. He was my fathers kid brother, a childless graduate of Harvard who was an honest life-insurance salesman in Indianapolis. He was well-read and w...
Posted by on Wed, 27 Jun 2007 22:18:00 GMT

Good question, Chuck

You are offered a Brain Pill. If you swallow this pill, you will become 10 percent more intelligent than you currently are; you will be more adept at reading comprehension, logic, and critical thinkin...
Posted by on Fri, 22 Jun 2007 15:39:00 GMT