The beginning of this was the end of something else, as Tavis, co-founder of Black Label Society had had enough of Zakk's egocentric ways, finally decided that he would build something of his own.
After being thrown out of a moving train leaving New Jersey one Spring evening and drunkenly stumbling toward the nearest gas station to buy more liquor and piss on the side of the building, he encountered someone that would change his life from thereon in. That person was guitar-slinger, horse breeder, pastry chef and active feminist, Felix. To make a long story short, after a steamy night that neither of them would ever forget nor mention ever again, they realised that the world was in front of them, and they'd never be younger than today; it was time to put their faith in each other and live the lives they had always wanted to, as closeted homosexual celebrities.
On the journey from the wastelands of New Jersey to Montreal, Canada, they encountered a rhythmically inclined duo going by the names Justin and Phil playing drums and bass guitar respectively, in a Bjork tribute band; one of them owning one of the world's largest collections of Richard Simmons memorabilia, and the other, sporting a testicle the size of a softball. With the Rhythm section filled by those two, the quartet adopted the name "Wreckin' Ball and the Yeasty Girls", they were poised to take the polka scene by storm. After signing to a major label and Selling four million copies of their debut, earth-shattering album entitled "Touch me, Gustav", their sophomore effort flopped and they were dropped by their label.
After experiencing a collective revelation, the four-piece, with a newly-instilled hatred for life, suicidal urges, and generally pessimistic outlook on everything, knew that it was the end of the road to polka stardom for them. They understood that it was time for them to be honest with themselves; they needed a vocalist. After putting up flyers and making some phone calls, a vocalist and pan flute prodigy named Jeff appeared out of the ether*. With the newest member added to the roster and a new, really metal name, Terracide were set to relive the glory of their early years.
In 2008, Terracide disbanded when Felix discovered Tavis and Phil pleasuring eachother to a National Geographic magazine somewhere in Austria on their third world tour. In a horrible fight that saw multiple stab wounds and rim jobs, the band decided that the rest of their story was one better left untold
At the end of 2008, there was a reunion of sorts. The two ex-lovers realized that they could never stay mad at eachother; the band and the music of their youth was the only thing missing. From the ashes of Terracide, rose a new opportunity. Knowing that keeping the original line-up in tact would lead to nothing but more homosexual infidelity, they got in touch with Phil, Justin and Jeff, and the band was re-born under the moniker A Few Good Men. With an incredible love and devotion to the obscene and homo-erotic, A Few Good Men stand arm in arm, dick to dick, stronger than ever. Forever.
* After their reunion in 2008, Jeff and Phil traded roles in the band. Phil handed the bass, his collection of Richard Simmons memorabilia and edible panties over to Jeff, while taking over all oral duties, vocals and pan flute included.
