My name is Elliot Stabler and I am badass detective. I enjoy beating child molesters and other various lowlives until they confess, especially during my trip to Russia where i was informed that beating a perp was allowed, i enjoyed myself thorougly. In the United States however, it is another story. People like Captain Cragan and George Wong stand in my way. Cragan insists that i do things "by the book." Wong went and snitched to Cragan because i said that I Fantasized about killing the perp. Now i Fantasize that wong is a child moloestor and it is therefore, acceptable to kill him. I have three very attractive daughters and in order to stop them from being molested i carry my sidearm at all times and run background checks on pedophiles throughout the city.
