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Marshal

I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking

About Me

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing. I pilot bicycles up severe inclines withy unflagging speed and I cook 30 minute rice in 20 minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a ferocious horde of army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I am bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding, On Wednesday, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number 100 and won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick and David Copperfield in one day, and still had time to refurbish an entire living room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a jello mold and a toaster oven. I breed prize winning clams. I have won bullfights in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees in the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery and I have spoken with Elvis.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Supermodel nymphomaniacs who are professional chefs; town drunks; people exiled from the Church; Anjolina Joliee (stop this foolishness and come on home baby); pirates (no software piracy doesn't count, I'm talkin peg-leg, eye patch, parrot wearing, ARRRRGH pirates); Darth Vader; Ghengis Kahn; lefties (its such a pisser to watch them write); and slow moving politicians to huck rocks at when I'm loaded.

My Blog

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