United Machinery profile picture

United Machinery

About Me


Matt Von

Likes-Winning in poker, beating band members in poker, thinking about poker, watching poker on TV while beating band members in poker, and watching porn that starts out with a poker game.

Dislikes- Cops that can run faster then him, band members who won’t pay bail since he took all their money in poker, cold toast, people that make drummer jokes, women who won’t watch porn nor play poker with him.

Pete Viper

Likes-Free lap dances, not working, sleeping with women that don’t want to cuddle, finding drugs in the couch, and being rich.

Dislikes-Waking up in a hot tub with large Swedish men, women who want to cuddle, Matt taking his lap dance money, guys who have issues about their women sleeping with him, and not being rich.

Tank Montana

Likes- Cutting down trees, wearing flannel shirts, buying new boots, winning strong man championship, and making peoples bones go crunch.

Dislikes-Tree huggers, when his chainsaw runs out of gas, bird houses, taking showers, things that are too heavy for him to lift and any band besides the one he is playing in.

The Omega

Likes-Driving his Hog, strippers who ride on his Hog, beating up small animals and giving mohawks to small kids, booze that is free, drugs that come free, not going to jail, fighting with band members, and wearing old leather jackets.

Dislikes-People who breathe funny, strippers that don’t come home with him, getting bugs in his mouth when he drives, band members who won’t fight him and kids that kick you in the shins.

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 16/08/2005
Band Website: http://www.unitedmachinery.org/
Band Members:

    Matt Von -DrumsPete Viper -GuitarThe Omega -VocalsTank Montana -Guitar

Influences: Large Cheasted-Beer Drinking-Strippers, The sound of a Hog on the open road, and Your Mom
Sounds Like: Better then anything your lame local hard rock station is playing. That is until they start playing United Machinery, then your local hard rock station will in turn freaking rule.
Record Label: One that will pay us in money and/or drugs

My Blog

New Machinery song+ Seven new ones in the making!!!

Another one for you... Save Your Tears (sweet Buick 59), taken from United Machinerys promo... United Machinery have spent the last months in the depths... Only some finishing vocals are left on few ...
Posted by on Mon, 02 Apr 2007 13:11:00 GMT

Video online!!!!!

Finally, The first video from United Machinery.Check my videos. A new 7 track demo is currently being finalized in the studio.Expect relentless rock as you´ve never heard it before........more de...
Posted by on Wed, 17 Jan 2007 03:19:00 GMT

Vocals getting added well you read this

Vocals will be added to the seven new songs this weekend(8/19/05) and should be ready to go by next friday.
Posted by on Fri, 19 Aug 2005 08:41:00 GMT

2 Ton Predator give their new album away for free

These assholes live down the street from us. They must have forgot that albums = money but either way if you enjoy some balls to the wall metal, like the kind of stuff that may take you lunch money gr...
Posted by on Thu, 18 Aug 2005 19:04:00 GMT

7 more songs in the works

The band somehow got sober enough to start work on laying down 7 more songs. Hopefully once Viper crawls off what ever whore he landed on top of he can name the damn things and get them out to some la...
Posted by on Thu, 18 Aug 2005 18:53:00 GMT