About Me
..I have spent my fair share of time contemplating the universe. I have wondered about life outside of my little corner of the world. I have walked with the prestigious, and been in the company of the poor. I have seen people at the mercy of this life. I've seen some win, and I've seen some lose. I've seen some fight, and I've sen some give up. I am fairly confident but still a little unsure of myself. I am not into playing games, so if you're dealing a hand..count me out. I've been through a lot, but there's more to go through. I am strong but I have my weaknesses.
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Life has taught me that there is no such thing as fair, but it has also taught me that with each day comes a new beginning. I have not always walked a straight path, but what kind of legacy would I leave, if my life was simple and there were no complications? Who would want to tell my story if the details were all insignificant and mundane? Life has taken me far beyond my 21 years, but I have managed to escape with only a few scars. I am a grown woman with responsibilities, but I know how to be young, and experience life through the eyes of a child.
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I've spoken many cliches but still managed to be original. I am like no one you have ever met. I am not a carbon copy of what this society thinks is acceptable. I live my life in my own way. I deal with problems as I see fit. I listen to music that is pleasing to my ears. Sometimes it's rock, sometimes it's country, and sometimes it's pop. There is a song for every feeling that I have. Music is the window to my soul. I often open my soul to the world through writing. Sometimes I just happen to put piano music to my soul and sing along. Yes, I am a woman of many talents.
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Family is important. I have a large one that includes 1 brother, 1 half-brother, 2 step-brothers, and 1 step sister. I have a dad, a step-dad, a mom, and a step-mom. I haven't always embraced my family, but I learned through experience, that it is beautiful to have people who are always there for you.
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I have friends. Some close, some not so close, some just simple acquaintances. There are three in particular who consume my heart. They are the ones that have stuck by my side through the things that have tested me. my life wouldn't be the same without them. They make me realize that the best things in life aren't things, but they are friends. They are three of the most important people in my life.
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Love is a decision. It is not butterflies or anxiety. It is a simple choice that one must make in order to give their heart to another. Feelings fade, and all that's left is your decision to stick with it. In other words, can you love another when the bills are bigger than the paychecks? Are you ready to love someone even when their hair has turned gray, their teeth are no longer their own, their stomach is sagging to their knees, and they can no longer walk beside you? Are you selfless enough to put away your own feelings, and stick through "better or worse?" I have given my heart to another and made the CHOICE to love. I have often wonder if everything I sacrificed for this choice was worth it, but I have managed to love another selflessly with all my heart, and for me...that is enough.
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I have learned though experiences, both bitter and beautiful, that it is very important to know who you are. I've searched long and hard, and have figured out who I am. If you don't know who you are, you can never truly understand people. You must know, accept, and love who you are. If you can't love yourself, you can't love another. There are things in my life and who I am that I wish I could change, but that would change me completely. And there are things about me that I do like. So I've learned to take the good with the bad.
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Lastly, and most importantly, God is my everything. I haven't always been on the right path when it comes to my relationship with him. But I am working on it. That's the beauty of being a Christian, I am not perfect, just forgiven. I do feel bad for proclaiming to be a Christian, but living my life stradling the fence. However; I have recently taken the plunge into God with all my heart. I have decided to follow him with everything, and all I desire is him. I am a woman after his heart alone.------------------------------------So, this is who I am. I can be serious but funny, deep but occasionally shallow, depressed but happy, and so much more. There is more than one dimension to a person. It's all about the balance. I do not mind being honest, and I do not mind being myself. And if you feel that you can accept that, and accept me for me, welcome to my world. It is a disaster, but it's a ~*~beautiful disaster~*~.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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