profile picture

255354202

About Me

My name is Josh, there are some aliases but they only make sense to certain groups. I’m 28 years old, and I feel and sound like a 90-year-old when I get out of bed in the morning. Probably something to do with bouncing bars, working restaurants as both waiter and cook for half my life and five and a half years of active duty military. Spent two years in Kuwait and Iraq. And there are a lot of days lately I miss the desert in some form or fashion. Finished my body piercing apprenticeship at 17. So there are the professional bits.

Writer, slam/jam poet (yes, there is a difference between a slam and a jam, I’ll explain it if you like, but no one really cares), artist, photographer with no camera, painter with no canvas or paint/charcoal. I love books, movies, fiction and non, every last bit of it. I like happy songs, but sad songs make more sense to me. I think perhaps one of the greatest songs ever written is Miles Davis’ Blue on Green. On a beautiful day, it’s beautiful to hear. But on a sad/bad day, I can always tell myself, “Today might have sucked a bucket of shit, but at least it wasn’t bad enough for me to write this.”

I love food, and I think that butter and bacon fat are better than olive oil and margarine. I think red wine is better than white, although I love Rieslings (the wines, not the candy). I’m a trained cook, not chef. The difference is between having to wear that stupid ass jacket and toque (no offense to you real chefs, you guys rule, just the uniform is dumb), versus a nice comfortable snap front dishwasher’s shirt. I like to make up recipes as I go along, and have created two or three of them that take their name from William Gibson novels (my favorite is called Ghetto Chef Beef Bowl).

And now it looks as though I’ll be heading back to the military shortly, and for another several years. I’ve got an appointment with the prior service Naval recruiter next week (1July09) to determine how to move forward with this. Hopefully it will turn out I get the EOD slot that I’m after, because that’s what I want, and the incredibly huge signing bonus doesn’t hurt either.

I’m sure this is too long and boring, and you probably haven’t/won’t read it all, but here it is.

And due to conversations I've had recently, that usually started to dry up around the time I lit a cigarette, let me say this: I smoke. I smoke daily. Cigarettes that is, drugs to me are fucking retarded and I have no use for them and/or those that do them. But I am a polite smoker, and apparently this is becoming more and more rare. I will not light up in your house/apartment/car/whatever unless I ask permission and get it. If you don't give it, I don't light up. No blood, no foul. I know it's a horrible habit and what it does to the body, so save the lectures. I'm a trained EMT and have no illusions about what it does to me. But I won't suddenly light up and ash in your drink or blow smoke in your face and if you ask me politely to put it out or not smoke around you, I'll probably do as you wish. As Bear Big Ears put it in the documentary Modify, "No one has the right to tell me what I can or can not do with my own body." I'll make you a deal, you don't tell me to quit smoking and say how you won't compromise on that or whatever the deal is, and I won't tell you how alcohol will kill you faster and how no one ever smoked too many cigarettes and got behind the wheel and killed one of my best friends.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Those who know who and what they are.

People with stories and travel behind them and before them.

Those who are willing to put the hours in.

Those who know that safe and comfortable is usually much shittier a place to be than a little or a lot scared but getting what it is you really want.

Those who realize that by giving in to fear of a possible result, they have lost any chance of any result other than the one they dread.

Those who may take counsel and imput from others, but always make their own decision, in their own time.

Those who know scars are just tattoos with better stories.

Those who know how to glue themselves back together, but don't let the heartache and breakdowns stop them from rising to try again.

My Blog

I will meet you in the middle

watching dawn through the window, my head full of the scratch of pen on paper, bringing back memories and wishes drifting through my thoughts like ash on autumn's wind. recursive writing, playing with...
Posted by on Tue, 04 Aug 2009 22:22:00 GMT

From Paulo Coehlo's The Zahir

Freedom continues to be a thing I prize most in the world. Of course this has led me to drink wines I did not like, to do things I should not have done and which I will not do again; it has left sca...
Posted by on Fri, 03 Jul 2009 08:41:00 GMT

Update on Contracts...

............ Since Im not sure how well the rumor mill and whisper stream are working, I dont know whos in the know on the current status of what Ill refer to as me trying to pick up a c...
Posted by on Sun, 28 Jun 2009 20:01:00 GMT

So I only have to say this once...

Due to recent developments in my life, I will, in all likelihood, be taking a contract very soon.  I lost my job at Edgar's Saturday night due to a RIF, and there's no way in hell I can make enough wo...
Posted by on Sun, 21 Jun 2009 20:14:00 GMT

Buddy Wakefield @ Shoot Your Mouth Off

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0w3ZJoLgCt8 "see me for who I am, we've got work to do."
Posted by on Fri, 19 Jun 2009 07:00:00 GMT

Buddy Wakefield - The Information Man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIr4pL9P0SA If this doesn't blow your hair back, let alone make you feel something...you're already fucking dead.
Posted by on Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:31:00 GMT

Def Poetry Gemineye Penny For Your Thoughts

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKIG--Dwwrs
Posted by on Sun, 14 Jun 2009 01:53:00 GMT

Rives - Dirty Talk - With HBO' s Def Poetry Jam

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvDj-NYnmS4
Posted by on Thu, 11 Jun 2009 16:39:00 GMT

Def Jam: Rives - Kite

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZsmneEtdWU
Posted by on Thu, 11 Jun 2009 16:38:00 GMT

Insomnia plus stream of consciousness is probably a bad idea

I havent slept, not really, in a week.  I feel wrinkled on the inside.  Ive had insomnia, to a lesser or greater degree since I can remember.  Its rarely been this bad or led to these sorts of l...
Posted by on Wed, 03 Jun 2009 08:31:00 GMT