Beelzabub Harbringer of Doom

About Me

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Peter Pendragon
Birthday: December 4th
Birthplace: Hades
Current Location: Seattle
Eye Color: Blue, with little white specks that look like snowflakes. Women comment on my eyes all the time. I then make a corny Big Bad Wolf reference and say "better to see you with my dear", then look them up and down like a piece of meat. They giggle, I get some hot action. Corny, but effective
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 6 ft but I have the power to make myself grow up to 8 inches longer than my normal length
Right Handed or Left Handed: I use my middle hand the most. Its like an elephants trunk. Sounds weird at first, but trust me you'll come to love it
Your Heritage: Spawn of Satan
The Shoes You Wore Today: A pair I stole off a bum sleeping on the street. He put up a bit of a fight, so I pepper spayed him
Your Weakness: Kryptonite
Your Fears: What are you trying to do, give me an anxiety attack???
Your Perfect Pizza: Pizza is the staple opiate of the fast food generation. It gives you zits and makes womens asses huge.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Stay out of Jail
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: LOL it has become like a golf clap. If you think something I said was funny then tell me why
Thoughts First Waking Up: Where the hell am I
Your Best Physical Feature: My heart!!! (aaaaahhhhh I know arnt I the sweetest guy ever)
Your Bedtime: around 6 pm. I ahve to go to bed early in order to wake up around 3 am so I have plenty of time to stalk around the streets looking for unsuspecting victims
Your Most Missed Memory: I dont know, I cant remember my most missed memory, but I sure do miss it alot
Pepsi or Coke: I refuse to submit to the corporate non choice of one poison over another
MacDonalds or Burger King: Beautiful healthy people dont eat such things
Single or Group Dates: Do you mean me and one hot babe, or me and a few hot babes? If I am lookin to party then the later. If I am lookin to get married then the former. Currently I am kinda partied out, so one on one is cool
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: What is this another corporate survey snuck into My Space? I like Green Tea, becasue it is good for me. Lipton or Nestea. both trash
Chocolate or Vanilla: This sounds like a racist question. In that case I will take vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: Caffeen is not my friend
Do you Smoke: Cigarettes NO, Crack NO, Weed ? Not telling now that my paranoia has convinced me this is a government monitored survey
Do you Swear: F**k No!!! ok ok seriously I have quite the potty mouth, but a true gentleman knows how and when to talk like a gentleman. When that is I am not sure yet, so if anyone knows I would appreciate a few tips
Do you Sing: Is this code for, do I rat on my friends? No I do not, but I will belt out a tune with the hommies once in a while
Do you Shower Daily: Fellas! word to the wise. Women do so much to keep themselves smelling nice for us. It is the least we can do to stay smelling nice for them. This means at a minimum of showering daily. Especially if you want a nice lady friend to perform the sacred act of felatio. She might appreciate a clean helmet to polish. However, all that being said you could be lucky like me and find a girl who has a fetish for good strong testicle musk (the kind coal miners and Sumo Wrestlers get) then you never have to shower. So woo hoo for me
Have you Been in Love: Now I am completely convinced this is a goverment site, becasue if I say yes then you will find out whom I love and hold them hostage
Do you want to go to College: Duh yeah! there are tons of hot babes at college, but I cant come within 100 yards of one until the judge lifts the restraining order. You can still see alot of hot college babes from 1000 yards though
Do you want to get Married: The only thing Arabs have right is that the perfect number of wives a man should have is 4. 1 Cant give you enough children to fight a holy war, plus she tries to run you life. 2 will plot against eachother. 3 when you are with one the other 2 will plot against you, and any more than 4 and the man is reduced to a breeding stud...hhhmmm doesnt sound so bad
Do you belive in yourself: Are you kidding me? I am here to save the world from destruction
Do you get Motion Sickness: Depends on the motion. I get sick when I see the motion of a huge jelly ass wrestling with itself in unflatteringly tight pants, but I do not generally get sick from motion unacustom to my physical state
Do you think you are Attractive: I'm a sexy bitch
Are you a Health Freak: Purely for egotistical reasons, refer to the last question
Do you get along with your Parents: Yes and I look up to them a great deal. ALthough I am sure they would not approve of anything I have said in this survey
Do you like Thunderstorms: I love Thunder Storms. I go outside and pretend like I am Thor God of Thunder. Its good fun but waving around a metal hammer in the middle of a field during a thunderstorm I found out the hard way is not a good idea
Do you play an Instrument: I play every instrument, but not the skin flute .....ok ok seriously guitar and piano. That is another way I might try to get in your pants so watch out. Chicks dig a sensitive musician
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: No I am not drinking this summer. Last year was a bad year for me and booze so this year I am on the wagon. Next year I will kick it again
In the past month have you Smoked: Smoking is for fools who hate themselves
In the past month have you been on Drugs: My life is weird enough already. Drugs really make it unbearably weird. So no I do not use drugs
In the past month have you gone on a Date: hahahahahaha foolish mortal I do not go on dates, my dates come to me. Seriously this sounds like a joke, but it is true. It is a weird situation ask me I will talk
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: I am to famous to go out in publis without my fans mobbing me for the merest touch of my cloak
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: WTF kind of retarded question is this
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Does drinking a bloody bucket of Chum count
In the past month have you been on Stage: Does being on the stand in court count
In the past month have you been Dumped: HA foolish puny mortals no one dumps ME
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: I have a fear of a fish thinking my penis is some kind of bate, so no I dont go skinny dipping. Unless the fish has no teeth and then it could be a good time
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: I broke into an Iranian nuclear power plant and stole some uranium, just for kicks, ya know stupid kid stuff
Ever been Drunk: Who are you, my mother???
Ever been called a Tease: I am the oldest of 6 children, I tease everybody. I make it a point to belittle everyone around me with humor
Ever been Beaten up: I carry mace, I scream real loud and I can run real fast
Ever Shoplifted: I pretended like I was being beat up when I was caught (refer to the above question to find out what happened)
How do you want to Die: I think the way Frankenstien died was a nice peaceful way to go
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Tyranical Dictator: Idi Amin, Hitler and Pol Pot are my mentors
What country would you most like to Visit: Candyland
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: All you crazy chicks have colored contacts anyways so does it really matter what color I choose
Favourite Hair Color: Refer to the last question
Short or Long Hair: Again refer to the last question
Height: I like midgets babes because they take up less room in bed. That way you can have like a huge porno babe midget fest with me and 10 -15 hot midget chicks and all fit on one bed at once. Besides they are more eager to please, like they have something to prove. Not to mention they are really really tight. Which is good for me since my accedent
Weight: I prefer women who are either way over weight or have an eating disorder and are really skinny. If they are to secure with themselves we just probably wont get along
Best Clothing Style: duh! Naked!!! if my girl dont look hot naked then we are going to have problems, because I want to do it in public and be cheered not arrested
Number of Drugs I have taken: I prefer a woman who is high all the time. Nothing mild either mind you. I want a doped up freak of a woman who takes more pills then a cancer patient and has everyallergy known to man
Number of CDs I own: None, I prefer a woman who doesnt need music because she hears so many voices in her head that it is kind of like she has a built in I Pod 24/7
Number of Piercings: My hot action babe should have so many piercings it should sound like Santas Sleigh is flying bye during sex
Number of Tattoos: The only tatoo I think a woman should have is a capital W on each but cheek. So when she is standing she spells WOW and when she is lying down it says MOM
Number of things in my Past I Regret: As many repressed memories as possible. It turns me on when a woman wakes up screaming in the night
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My Interests

I have many interests, it’s the ADD keeps things fresh. Main interests are Snowboarding, Kung Fu (yup I can put a whoopin on a fool), Real Estate Finance, Geographic Social Economics, Fitness and Living very Active, Travel (I am buying property in Costa Rica for anyone that is looking for a cool friend when they need to get out of the country fast), Art (creating and appreciating), etc. etc etc. Really if you want to pick my brain I am an excellent source for many things. Try me. Life is about living and not watching others live, so don’t ask me what I watch on TV. Camping and being outdoors is when I feel the most alive. I spend a lot of time in the gym, because I believe how healthy we are on the outside is a direct reflection of how healthy we are on the inside (exceptions to people with unavoidable ailments). I don’t have any kids, but I am looking forward to being a father someday, even though the government has forbidden me from pro-creating. I move in a variety of social circles. From my business where I deal with wealth and responsibility all the way to the troubled kids I counsel on my free time. It is the mark of a Renaissance Man to be able to comfortably mingle within all levels of society. My life is fairly open so please go ahead and ask anything you like and I promise to make my answer as shifty, indirect and filled with double meaning as possible.

I'd like to meet:

If you can put up with my shit then you are an exceptional woman and you deserve my undieing respect. I am here to meet fun people and perhaps find fun crews to visit when I go to other cities. Friends mainly, but I am open for more if the right groove is there. I have great energy and love to share it. Snowboarding during the winters and summers are for concerts and watersports. I love the outdoors and really only get along with people who love life. Depressing people suck. I love to talk about events and ideas. If you love stimulating conversatoin then I am good for that. So I would like someone who has a mind that likes stimulation and wants to grow. I am turned on by ambitious women. If you have no ambition and just want a man to take care of you and do nothing then we probably wont even enjoy talking. My eyes are stimulated by the body but my heart falls in love with the mind. If you have a heart of gold, a good sense of humor and can put up with my jackass self then we probably will become best buds.

Music:

If you jog through the city with your IPod you deserve to get hit by a car. In the wild if an animal did that they would be eaten in a matter of minutes. Our ears are there to help us survive. Ok Ok Ok what kind of music do I like? Right, I will stick to the question. I like all kinds of music with a couple exceptions. HATE Rap, lets get that clear. If you get in my car and try to put Rap on my stereo, then I will speed up to a sufficiently fatal velocity, hit the eject button and gleefully watch your mangled blood carcass tumble off the cars behind me. (you think I am kidding, but it cost me 25k to get a eject seat put in my car) Good groovy mixes for downtown lounges with a touch of jazz. The kind of music you listen to sooth the soul and dance to all at the same time. The kind of music you feel good after listening to, not mad or sad or confused, just good and the brain feels alive. Electronic dance, but not intense drum beats. That is my favorite kind of music. However, I love all kind of music and I love to learn about new kinds of music. Also I am a musician and I believe in playing music for your girl. I am not a fan of Country Music, but I appreciate it, unless some fool has sequins on his cowboy hat. Then he has to go, preferably in a violent fashion. Oh yeah and I must add I dig the Heavy Metal. Concerts are just not the way they used to be in the 80s when there were the big stadium shows of Metal. The fuzzy wuzzy BS crap they come out with these days is pretty weak. There are some good bands but they don’t get the attention they deserve. I actually really hate the music industry today. It is another load of shit that is fed to us against our will by companies who also control the media and movie industry as well. However, most people are too stupid to realize their music tastes are not what they would really enjoy, but by what they are told to like. Radio commercials are evil and I won’t listen to normal radio anymore. Satellite radio or internet radio, but not Sirius Radio because Howard Stern is an intellectual void filled with the bile of civilization and I refuse to support any company who is idiotic enough to put Howard Stern as their flagship show. Whether or not someone likes Howard Stern I consider an idiot test. Now don’t get me wrong it is not the fact that his humor is crass or gross, because I love sick humor and my friends will tell you so. Believe me I am humorously vile, but I believe if your jokes lack intellectual intrigue then you are just a 5 year old telling fart jokes. But Mr. Sterns is an adult and his show is no better than Jerry Springer or any other humor that appeals to the lowest common denominator. Stupid Stupid Stupid and people that like him are retarded, you know who you are. Get off the planet and let the rest of us evolve, your holding the gene pool back, but I digress…… To accurately summarize my music tastes is difficult because music to me is like food. In order to have a healthy diet you need a variety, but you really know what you like and what you don’t like. However too much of what you like and you get sick of it and it is always good to try new things, because you might find something you really want to try again. Music should be savored like food and appreciated as a nourishing food of life. Fools who say they are not affected by the music they listen to are complete idiots not deserving of the ears nature gave them to hear with.

Movies:

I may not know Kung Fu, but I know CRAZY!!!

Television:

You should only watch TV that improves you as a person, intellectually, emotionally or educational. If you find yourself watching endless hours of mindless drivel on TV, then that is a good indicator that you are one of the mindless hoards of American consumers that drive our economy. Although, I see the value in such puny existences, whose only real contribution is being a faceless cog whose consumption allows the intellectual cream to rise to the surface through increased specialization. My disdain for such empty lemmings is supreme. For their sad empty minds carry a lump of flesh called a body that gets the same opportunity to vote as our intellectual elite. An over privileged situation our founding fathers never intended. It is the genius of the elite intellectuals who should be running this country, but unfortunately it is the mindless masses who feed on the lowest common denominator like maggots feed on filth. If you get your political opinions from celebrities and only for the real reason that you can subconsciously identify with the characters you see them as on the idiot box (usually one of a mindless twit). Then you can count your self amongst the wastes of flesh whose empty unoriginal ideas carry no weight nor consequence, but your only value deriving from the base product of your cultural life cycle, consumer shit. It is you the fecal scum that never had a single original idea spring from the void between your ears, but for some reason get a public voice. The voice of the mindless masses. Fools whose backs puppet masters ride over the fields of degradation trashing the sacred rights bled for by our forefathers to protect the voices of freedom and integrity. It is you the fools and puppets that sit like drones before your sit-coms and talk shows parroting every asinine sound bite that falls out of some cultural crack whores prostituted mouth. A mouth who just so happens to a ringmaster a show your junky mind absorbs daily. It is this Scarlet Woman’s emaciated soul whose vile orifice polishes the pole of the Shylock Devil whose media conglomerate feeds her the proverbial carrot of fame. In return for her auctioned existence, the public chants to simple mantras and goes to the voting booth in tune. So now we find our country in a perilous dive with IQs and original opinions leading the plummet. You ask, of whom do I speak, holding the reigns of this chariot of doom.??? It is not a shadow but a poison star in our midst, it is Oprah. Oprah Winfrey is Satan and if you allow your soul to be poisoned by her cancer then a pustules boil will grow around your soul until it bursts and the puss will infect the world and we will all die. In summary, TV sucks, live life, don’t watch it.

Books:

I read all the time. It is a much better way to absorb info then TV, duh. I prefer books on history and education. I always keep several books next to my bed and ready about 5 at a time. Right now the books I have are the Sun Tzu, the Art of Warfare; The Apocrypha; 7 Habits of Highly Affective People; Guns, Germs and Steel; and the History of Gnosticism. If you know anything about any of these subjects we would probably become great friends, because I love to talk to people interested in such things. Intelligent people read, idiots do not. If you do not read then you are probably a moron and should not vote, nor have children. Kindly remove your testicles or put a rusty battery up your coochy.

Heroes:

Ming the Merciless, Josie Wales, Jared Taylor, Frederick Neitchze, and Marco Polo
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So I woke up this morning and wow was I shocked

So I got up this morning like any other morning went in the bathroom to brush my teeth and holy shit when I looked in the mirror!!!! My penis had grown like 5 inches longer, and alot thicker too. It h...
Posted by Concrete Tarzan on Sun, 03 Sep 2006 10:53:00 PST