About me:
Welcome! This is a MySpace group with advice and support for people that are questioning their sexuality or scared of coming out. There has never been a better time to be young and gay in the UK as times are changing and more people are becoming excepting. But what if you're young and questioning your sexuality? You’ll probably have loads of questions. How to tell people? How to meet people? Well don’t worry too much – we’re here to help. You'll find advice, flirting tips, quizzes, the best websites out there, as well as blogs and videos right here on this MySpace group, if you have a friend that you think might be gay or know they are scared of coming out then why not give them our link and it may just help them!.
’’The government estimates that between 5 and 7% of the UK population are LGB (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual).’’
Boys:
It’s very common for young people to experiment with their sexuality and to wonder about sex and relationships but even if you feel you have to experiment does not mean you are gay or bisexual. Alot of teenagers get mixed hormones which makes them feel they would like to experiment and of course, its great fun aslong as you are safe. Many gay people know they are gay for a long time before even coming to terms with their sexuality. If you're feeling isolated, why not go online? It’s a great place to meet people and chat about your feelings without revealing your identity. MySpace and other social networks have massive gay communities. Once you feel comfortable with your sexuality you might wish to start telling people around you. This can be a difficult process, but also a very liberating one. Coming out can be a difficult process, but also a very liberating one. You may want to tell a close friend or family member first just to get some back up and confidence. When your ready to tell your family and friends remember that not everyone is excepting. You may be worrying about how others will view you or the reactions of your friends and family or maybe even that you won’t find a partner. How you come out and to whom should be your choice, and no one should force you into it. Unfortunately places such as schools and work environments can still be homophobic places and your friends might not have the courage to support you because of what others think. Great organisations such as Stonewall are working to stop homophobia in schools. And legislation is in place that makes it illegal to discriminate against someone because of their sexuality just like its illegal to discriminate against someone's colour. There maybe even an LGB youth group near you which is a group that is a good way of meeting people your age, as well as a good source of support. Even if you’re not out, the runners of the group should respect your privacy because they was once ' in the closet ' and just because you go to an LGB group it doesn't mean everyone will find out!
girls:
If you’re attracted to other girls or if you have sexual feelings towards girls it could mean that you are a lesbian or bisexual woman. These feelings are natural and lots of other girls feel like this too. You might want to call yourself as a lesbian or if you have feelings towards girls and guys you may call yourself bisexual at the start but don’t get too hung up on labels, some people don’t use them at all just use words that you are comfortable with. Only you will know if these feelings will last a lifetime and alot of young women like to experiment with their sexuality. Although famous lesbians are less visible than famous gay men, they do exist. Ellen De Generes, is openly gay and presenting the Oscars this year. Channel 4's Sugar Rush and Tipping the Velvet are lesbian dramas on primetime TV. Marissa dated Alex on The OC and shared a passionate kiss. Lesbians are definitely coming out. If your scared of coming out because of how people may see you or what your family/friends will think, this is all normal just take your time. If you want to come out then maybe tell a family friend or close friend first as they can be there for you and give you some advice, remember that not everyone is as excepting but coming out if also a very positive thing and you may feel much better after!. There are great youth groups around that have gay and lesbain members, maybe there's one in your area? Don't worry if you haven't come out yet, the runners may respect your privacy and support you. If you feel lonely and depressed about your sexuality then don't, there are some really good community website's just like MySpace that have a big gay/lesbain communities that will give you some confidence being able to see there are others that are going through the same as you!
Speak LIVE in our Chat Room
Go Large!
Links
www.channel4.com/gayteens
We got most of our resources from the briliant website made by C4.
www.puffta.co.uk
Great gay social network website.
www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_gay%2C_lesbian_or_bisexual _people
See all the famous gay, bisexual and lesbain people.
www.stonewall.org.uk
Great website for advice, etc.
www.qboy.co.uk
www.standuptobullying.org
Codes for your websites/MySpace's, etc.
tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let’s hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.
Start by considering this statement:
“Suicide is not chosen; it happens
when pain exceeds
resources for coping with pain.â€
That’s all it’s about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn’t even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.
Don’t accept it if someone tells you, “that’s not enough to be suicidal about.†There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.
When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.
You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.
Now I want to tell you five things to think about.
1. You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.
2. Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, “I will wait 24 hours before I do anything.†Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it’s just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.
3. People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.
4. Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.
But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what’s going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:
- Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S. Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999 Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line Call a psychotherapist Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen
But don’t give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.
5. Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.
Well, it’s been a few minutes and you’re still with me. I’m really glad.
Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let’s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.
Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won’t be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It’s time to start looking around for one of them.
Now: I’d like you to call someone.
And while you’re at it, you can still stay with me for a bit. Check out these sources of online help.
Additional things to read at this site:
How serious is our condition? ...“he only took 15 pills, he wasn’t really serious...†if others are making you feel like you’re just trying to get attention... read this.
Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? ...while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Recovery from grief and loss ...has anyone significant in your life recently died? You would be in good company... many suicidal people have recently suffered a loss.
The stigma of suicide that prevents suicidal people from recovering: we are not only fighting our own pain, but the pain that others inflict on us... and that we ourselves add to. Stigma is a huge complicating factor in suicidal feelings.
Resources about depression ...if you are suicidal, you are most likely experiencing some form of depression. This is good news, because depression can be treated, helping you feel better.
Do you know someone who is suicidal... or would you like to be able to help, if the situation arises? Learn what to do, so that you can make the situation better, not worse.
Handling a call from a suicidal person ...a very helpful ten-point list that you can print out and keep near your phone or computer.
What can I do to help someone who may be suicidal? ...a helpful guide, includes Suicide Warning Signs.
The Samaritans - trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day to listen and provide emotional support. You can call a volunteer on the phone, or e-mail them. Confidential and non-judgmental. Short of writing to a psychotherapist, the best source of online help.
Talk to a therapist online - Read this page to find out how.
Depression support group online: Walkers in Darkness - Please note: this is a very big group, but amidst all the chatter (and occasional bickering), it is possible to find someone who will hear you and offer support.
Psych Central has a good listing of online resources for suicide and other mental health needs.
Still feel bad? These jokes might relieve the pressure for a minute or two.
If you want help finding a human being to talk with in person, who can help you live through this, try reading this article about how to Choose a Competent Counselor .
"GT magazine is a great magazine for gay men go to gaytimes.co.uk for more Info!"